Subways and Crabs in a Bucket Design

I was in Patna and I wanted to see that city in monochrome. I kept writing during my college days, and continued with my own art and writing projects. I used to talk about shit infested subways of Delhi, and kept clicking pictures of narrow water logged streets of Patna. At that time I used to think that one can write and create whatever one wanted in this country, not knowing that the only narrative that is allowed, at least for the middle class, is the Hindi newspaper narrative. Art projects are great, they help with the perspective, if you are allowed to have other perspectives, that is. I look back at my writing and realise that it was filled with idealism. I was an idealistic person and hence my writing too was filled with idealism. I have always considered the bottomline to be the truth of society, as the real reality, and so I wanted to expose myself to the real reality. Though I later realised that there is no end to corruption and depravity in this country, it is actually a deeply corrupt and depraved country so much so that there is no chance of salvation. It's corrupt at the deepest possible level. I also realised that there is no reality, just shared experiences, and everybody is tripping on their own trips. The only way to climb up the social ladder is betrayal and murder, at least I have had that experience, and non-violence, which I practice would only make you more susceptible for exploitation as it would be seen as the sign of your weakness and fear. I practice non-violence because I believe that co-existence is possible. Though I had to change my ways, because the kind of individuals who have control, non-violence is not useful and hence I switched to judicious use of violence. There are a few takeaways from my life until now, and the chief takeaway is that money is everything. I still believe that money is not everything and my priority is still my relationships but I have understood that money is everything when social and worldly survival is considered and relationships don't last long if you don't have money. Other takeaways are that there is no limit to depravity and exploitation in this country and power is mostly in the hands of incompetent, depraved, despotic and genocidal individuals, and that if you are living your life happily others will try to destroy it for no reason, and it happens at the deepest and highest possible level. I have realised that only thing you need to focus on while living in this country is your family and yourself, that's the only thing that matters. The structure that controls the lives of people in this country believes in isolating people and sabotaging relationships so that it can retain power. I realised that religion is just a smokescreen and those who control it do not believe in it themselves. The pathos in this country is beyond comprehension but people who suffer have gotten used to their suffering. The main issue is people thinking other people as objects to be exploited for their gains, but the problem is not this, the problem is that it is the standard method of existence in this country and those who do not understand this are prone to get exploited. Going forward by exploiting others is the only way to exist in this country and it is promoted at the highest and deepest possible level. And make no mistakes, all of it is intentional. Those who do not understand this truth are bound to suffer. I have come to a stage where there is no point of writing, but I write because it gives me pleasure and since it is the only art I know, it is the only source from which I can derive creative satisfaction. And if I'm writing, why not write the truth.