Uncouth Simulcra

The past decade has been about a lot of useless things. I got a lot of clarity on things in this time. I realised that there is no God, except what is inside you, though looking at the nature I really hope that there actually is, but seeing the state of the world there doesn't seem to be one. Hope has been both, a good thing and a bad thing for me. Hope is good because it provides motivation, and it's bad because of the actual state of affairs in the world. What was so special in me that I was sabotaged since the age of sixteen? And actively since the age of twenty four. It's not my fault that these motherfuckers are retarded. I distinctly remember my cognitive functions getting blocked at the age of eighteen. At that point I had thought that it is somatization of my anxieties, that I suffered with amnesia due to panic due to examinations and due to my worst fear ultimately coming true. While in part it might be true, the experience I have had in the past decade, all of it doesn't seem to be true. At first it was neurological torture and insertion of delusions, then it turned into what it actually was, exploitation, rape and extortion, torture and murder. These individuals had no actual reason to do this to me, as my goals were simple and did not include anyone else. Intelligence establishment of this country is redundant and this country is run by directly neurologically controlling individuals and manipulating IPRs within families and relationships. Shit is direct, and religion plays no role except prolonging the suffering of people, which is unfortunate for a country which has deep philosophies, mythology, spirituality and traditions. The ultimate truth turned out to be simple. Spoilt and entitled rich control people nerves and bones and they have employed rapist criminals to directly manipulate individuals and families and the society through them. None of it was required in my case. I had simple goals, and my personality is not such that I pick fights. It's a fault of my personality that I judge people more than what they actually are, and I did the same with this establishment, when the truth is that these motherfuckers are despotic genocidal rapists.