The Last Relics of Faith

The earth is beautiful, the world is beautiful for some and for a lot more it's not. I have had my experiences in this world. I have had my fun, my secrets, my trauma. I wanted to go in the Army once. I still remember I would have been around 14 and I wanted to join the NCC, and so bad. But due to a kind of very valid reason I couldn't, I mean the reason was kind of funny but the truth is that shit is real only to the one it is actually real to. That's the way with the world. I had my insecurities back in the day, in fact just one insecurity though I'm glad that I did not let anyone else suffer because of that insecurity ever. The same year I wanted to join the NCC there was a medical camp in the school and I went to the doctor afraid that he would know about my insecurity, he couldn't. Doctors know a lot but not everything, I know because I'm one now. Though probably if I was the doctor back then I would have known about the insecurity in the kid, mostly because I kind of specialise in matters of mind. Though the truth is that in this country even if you specialise in the matters of mind you can't do much to help people. I didn't think that I would say it ever, but I'm glad that I didn't go into the Army, it's cool only until it actually is and if in Army I would have been the one to be involved in the action, as I seek thrill. My flat feet and the deep seated insecurity prevented me from going in the Army, and I think it was for the best. I still respect the men in services though, they are doing what others aren't. And I hope they do not know the real nature of this nation, as it would demotivate them. The days of faith are passé and so I suppose are the days of love, though I hope they aren't. I was in Benaras at my clinic and an elderly traditional Maharashtrian couple who had come for teerthyatra came to me for medicine. It was a welcome change from my cynical outlook, I adore and respect innocent people who follow their faiths and traditions with conviction, it's dying down and it would be extinct in sometime. It had a value when it had one. The old women in my village take their gathris and go to teerthyatras, pious good people who are kind and have a sense of right and wrong. Their faith is stronger than the scam in the name of religion that is going on in this country, and their faith and its strength is one thing that makes me want to believe in a God. Marriage for them is a bond for life, no matter what, they adjust, sacrifice, love and share responsibilities. You see this country today and all of it is gone, only old people who would not be there in a few years remain as the relics of strength of faith. I went to the hospital in hometown and saw a male assistant who was old, almost retirement age treating an injured girl, I saw him and I can't really explain what I saw, almost motherly concern and care while treating the wound combined with skill, it was pure love and skill. Now we have professionalism, but no love, and in this country even professionalism is not really present. I'm old enough to know that all of it is intentional. The culture has been swallowed by lust and greed. I'm glad to be where I am today and despite the inertia and obstacles. I know how the deepest structure of this country works, by depriving people of money and education, and when they want to spice things up, even food. Idealism and piousness would only get you exploited today, just two decades ago those who exploited people were known as villains, it's normal now. And so people are adapting and turning into hypocritical zombies. All of it is intentional and very centralised I realised as the world gradually unfolded in front of me. Silence is the only option now. One has to be silent and mind their own business and hope to get out unharmed. The earth, however, is still beautiful.