Warm and Fuzzy Truth

I have my goals in writing. One of them is that I want to recreate the vibe of 90s Indian comic books and magazines and a warm feeling of 90s American sitcoms, another vibe that I want to recreate is similar to the show Good Mythical Mornings on YouTube, as there are not many shows with that kind of vibe. Then there is recreation of the vibe of Hindi literary aesthetics in English. I mean why wouldn't I want to recreate vibe of Kamayani by Jaishankar Prasad in English without losing the original vibe. It's not as easy as it seems. It's actually very hard. Then there are my goals of writing in and amalgamation of the genres I like, like noir, Indian mythology, victorian detective fiction, gothic fiction, cosmic horror and science fiction. It's is exceptionally difficult to do this especially with the kind of writing block that I'm dealing with but the result is worth giving it a try. I have my doubts about the success of the endeavour, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to try for it. Writing is a magical process and it should be treated as such and anyway the first step to achieving the goals is to have them in the first place. The major block for me getting into any endeavour was thinking that I was not good enough to do it, and this thought, as I experienced the reality of this nation, got resolved promptly, these struggles too would be a part of what I write. It's all about how you create the aesthetics that you love and what are the components of it. The main goals of my writing are truth and warmth. But first I had to unload my head of bullshit that I had been collecting all through these years. Now with all the bullshit unloaded and rightly discarded I can focus on my writing goals. I had been collecting bullshit in my head, courtesy the demonic setup of my region, this country and probably the world, and now I have dealt with it so I can focus on what I want to do, that is writing. I know that my quest is useless but I'm doing it for the sole purpose of personal creative pleasure. With all the other modes of recreation exhausted for me, this is the only mode of recreation that I have. It's funny how the reality actually is, but even more funny is what lies behind this reality. It's a cruel joke but it is funny nevertheless. In fact it's hilarious. I used to feel oversmart while writing noir and transgressive fiction but now I don't, as I realise that the arrangement is such that it is actually a fertile ground for noir and transgressive fiction. I don't want to write transgressive fiction anymore as I realise that the reality itself is transgressive, but even though I won't retain it as a genre, I would retain it as a style and component in my writings. I have seen warmth and so I would distribute it through writing. I still have some doubts about writing and I'm really hoping that I'm able to address them.