Crazy Town

I got exposed to the worst the humanity had to offer, and I used kintsugi. This has been my approach throughout and it finally paid off illuminating me about the reality of the world. Shit didn't have to go this bad but it finally made me realise the kind of intellectual and moral cretins that rule over people in this country. Hollywood helped, not going to lie, but then I finally realised that it was just a sort of garnishing. I have felt like The Machinist, I have felt like Jason Bourne, and it's funny because my job is kind of most peaceful of the lot, it's just helping people who need help, finally making me realise you can't really help people even if you want to and even if they need help and even if you do, it is not going to be long lasting in the present scenario. Shit with me had been quite a one way street and given the kind of obedient and respectful man I am, I took it all thinking maybe there was some fault of mine, but ultimately I realised that it's actually a criminal establishment that rules over people and it is permanent and what is going to happen to me will happen, as it does with lot of innocent and helpless people in this country. I anyway wanted to write so why not tackle some real problems instead of make-believe bullshit. How terrible is the incompetence in this country that these bastards can't judge people right despite having access to their minds, bodies, memories and consciousness. The entitlement and the incompetence doesn't match up but I finally realised that the primary goal of this setup is exploitation and these bastards are basically fuelled by petty hatred towards people who don't even know them or about their existence. I wonder if I crossed any line ever, and I actually don't think so, it's not about crossing lines. They would pull any idea out of their assholes if you are the target, and the reasons if any are superficial and related to their incompetence and entitlement and fate of people is totally dependent on the whims of these assholes. These motherfuckers decide whole lives and destinies of people upon their whims on superficial attributes of people and majority of them, especially the ones who are employed for direct crowd control are conditioned to exploit any weakness of people, be it handicaps, illnesses, inferiority complexes, past traumas, suffices to say that these motherfuckers are criminals, and is disappointing that these kind of motherfuckers are who control religion and morality in this country, it's only about dominance, sex and money and resources and there is no other truth to this country and probably the world. This country specifically is a neurological harem where women are just spoils of war. I wanted to find a soulmate with whom I could talk about the mysteries of nature and universe but turns out all of the women in this country, including one's mothers, sisters, wives and daughters are concubines of those who exert neurological control over people. Truth is purely financial, and rape is the main form of recreation. Though I don't know if the harem setup only applies to Purvanchal or the greater nation and the world too, it's a harem for women, at least for good looking women, and a penal colony for men. It's baffling that truth is this simple, but the more you know. It looks like a fantasy of an asshole teenager. Purvanchal in particular at the highest and the deepest level functions on favours and revenge which is quite a simplistic setup and psychology and the revenge could be based on ego slights both real and imagined. It's kind of funny how I became aware of this setup as I have never even hurt a fly in my life, mosquitoes, yes. Basically this shit is Pavlovian slavery where the possibility is that even your thoughts, sensations and feelings might not be actually yours. What an unfortunate realisation for a person who wanted to seek a higher purpose and greater truths of existence.