Warfighter

It's not what something is, but it's what your perception of it is. I'm a romantic guy, and I'm interested in noir and transgressive fiction. I'm the kind of guy who could have been in "doctors without borders", or have been a Vice reporter if these things actually existed. They exist actually, but I, now when I have become mature and well versed in the actual truth of the world, have realised that there is no point in throwing your life for these silly pursuits. The way things were going while I was in college, except medicine and writing, I would have dedicated myself to a martial art or mountaineering, either of the two. I used to believe in higher purpose of existence. I trained in medicine with the sole purpose of healing people, there are numerous other ways to earn money. I wanted to go into medical research and I was studying for it. And then the truth of this country came crashing down on me. You are a slave and once you realise that life becomes particularly simple, as it has become for me. The best way to live life, and it is the ultimate way, there is no better way other than this because this is the bottom line, is to throw yourself into earning money, and into trying to keep your family together. Sounds simple isn't it? In this country, it's not. It was a relief when I realised that there is no higher purpose of existence and that one doesn't really have to give back to the society. There is no society to give back to. Everyone is a programmed automaton. It's like The Matrix, everyone you know, even your loved ones, are in the program and can turn into agents, the thing to remember is to love your loved ones even if they turn into agents. I had an option to choose either the blue pill or the red pill and I chose the red pill, just like Neo did. Reality has been stranger than fiction for me, and there is nothing that I could have done about it since the start. I can heal people now, but there are no people to heal anymore. The amount of suffering I have gone through is beyond words, but that's not the point. The actual point is that all of this suffering is inflcted, and that there is exists a mechanism, a setup, a system, to inflict this suffering and this suffering is inflicted on people by other humans. The worst part, there is no greater reason behind the suffering, you suffer in your life because of whims and baseless hatred of other humans. God was never in the picture. It's all politics and economics. It was a hard pill to swallow for a man who was an idealist, who believed in greater purpose. But it is then I realised that it is the people like me who believed in morals and honour, in codes, that these motherfuckers manipulated and sent to wars, while they exploited and tormented the good common people. The secret is out and it shouldn't have been. These are not the Kings who loved us, the benevolent gods who cared for us, went to wars for us, who lead us into wars to fight for them, besides them. These are men and women of straw, petty criminals who got the power by deceit, by betraying their own people, by begging the invaders and who compensate for their weakness with cruelty. I know that the old designers and kings were benevolent because I can see it in myself, I can feel it flowing in my blood. These criminals don't rule upon me. The actual Kings do, whether they are alive or dead, I listen to the ancient designers, I listen to my gods and the God, and I listen to the idea of this nation, this culture, this civilization. I would go to war for it, in fact I have been in war whole of my life for it.