Practical Lessons Derived From Mistakes

I have made some mistakes in life, and I would like to recount them so that I always remember what they were. One of the biggest mistakes I did was thinking that catharsis is necessary. Catharsis is the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions or conflicts. At one point in my life I used to think that it was necessary for mental health. Catharsis can include, acting out, venting or crying to release pent up emotions or conflicts. The truth, at least for me, is that it is not necessary. Psychological conflicts don't need catharsis, they need resolution. The conflicts, especially psychological conflicts, should be nipped in the bud through resolution. One method of resolution is assessing whether you can do something about that conflict or not, if yes, you must do that thing to resolve that conflict, if you can't do anything about it then you must just focus your attention and energies somewhere else. This approach works in all kinds of conflicts, even deep seated psychological conflicts such as child sexual abuse. You can tell the person who has suffered child sexual abuse to acknowledge her feelings and the cause and effect chain that formed due to that event and break the chain. Child sexual abuse is just an example and this approach can be used on any type of conflict, especially deep seated psychological conflicts. Catharsis is not necessary, but if you want to try catharsis, the best method to channelise your energies is through physical activities such as sports, rest of the methods are not only useless, giving just temporary relief, but may also prove detrimental in current social situation of this country. The second mistake I made is choosing the wrong psychological defences for myself. Psychological defences are of utmost importance and if you don't choose them consciously you are anyway going to choose them unconsciously so it's better you choose them consciously. I had chosen altruism and compassion as a psychological defence, empathising with people who have suffered just like me and helping them, in an ideal world this would be the best possible psychological defence, but as I grew up, I realised that it doesn't work like that in this country at least, where corruption and exploitation is facilitated by the deepest structure that controls this country and its inhabitants. Here again the best psychological defence is channelising your emotions in physical activity and focusing your energies in things that have the capacity to hold your interest. Third mistake I made is believing that rules and laws exist, they actually don't. I mean they do actually but only good and stupid people take them to heart, while the practical people consider rules and laws as obstacles in a video game. The rule of thumb is that you are wrong only if you get caught, so don't get caught. Real morality, piousness, ethics and respect mean shit in this country. If you are raising kids, the best method would to teach them morality, ethics and manners, and in an authentic and genuine manner, till they are fourteen years of age and then gradually expose them to sociopolitical reality of this country. It would prevent them from getting exploited and even if they are getting exploited, they'd know what's going on with them. Religion, morality, ethics and social conventions are just blueprints which are used to either judge people or frame them, and only the middle class follows them, only to get exploited due to them. Always remember the rule of thumb to never to get caught, and know that if you get caught you are on your own.