The Family Man (or Woman)

Communication is the key in every relationship. As far as family dynamics go, they are complex, and communication is essential is keeping these dynamics healthy but then it is not a one way street and sometimes we can't really communicate to our family members because they are not responsive, misunderstand what we say, or are just not in mindset to receive. To communicate effectively you need to be able to think clearly. The process is like this, you think about something, process it and then you communicate and the receiving party receives the information, processes it and understand it and then gives you the reply. If the idea is not conveyed properly or not recieved properly, misunderstandings occur. Family dynamics are important because they differ from social dynamics as we are not afraid of expressing ourselves or showing our anger when we are angry, mostly because we are sure that there is no existential threat involved in this setting. The actual truth however is that family should come last when it comes to expressing anger and lashing out, but we generally do the opposite because it is a safe space. There is one thing to know in this country that family is the only institution that actually matters. Any other institution in this country, and even friendships are a scam. I'm not saying that friendships aren't real, they are as real as they can be and they are beautiful, but the sociopolitical situation is such that they can end at the whims of those who control the sociopolitical reality of this country. Only the love present in a family is capable of overriding this sociopolitical control and it is this reason families are being broken to keep people helpless and powerless. A lot of kids today do not grow up in happy families and consequently end up becoming outcasts and criminals, outliers in these cases are an exception and not a rule. It is your responsibility to keep your family whole, try to communicate effectively, even if it is hard and try your best to ensure that it is whole. The default setting of this country, and I have realised it, is either get exploited or exploit, and about more than sixty percent of the population is involved in this unsaid rule knowingly or unknowingly, but if you are a good person you have to make sure that you get involved in none, either getting exploited or exploiting others, well, as much as you can do it, because sometimes the power dynamic and the pressure is so much that you can't really do anything but get exploited but awareness is the key. Prioritize and make sure that you are clear that you care for your family, as much as you can, and do not make them suffer. If a family member can't understand your perspective don't feel bad and do not engage in useless arguments once you realise that they can't or are unable to see your side of things. Try to communicate effectively, and if you can't, just let things be and immerse yourself in your work and your hobbies and interests. 

Heroes Falling Like Flies

There are countless heroes that got consumed by obscurity and many who have fallen in the modern times. One of my favourite people and personal hero was Anant Kushwaha, the editor of children's magazine Balhans. Every once in a while Balhans released a Chitrakatha issue in which all the strips were written and drawn by Anant Kushwaha himself. Just like him, a personal hero is Genndy Tartakovsky, the man responsible for a lot of cartoons that were run on Cartoon Network back in the day. These were the real great people and not the ones who are now considered great. Neil Gaiman, one of my favourite authors, is facing cases of sexual misconduct these days. To be factual, I never liked the content of Neil Gaiman's writing but I loved his writing style and the depth in it. I'm an old Tumblr user and he was a hero on Tumblr, and now all of a sudden he is a villain for obvious reasons. I, with all that I have seen in the past decade, understand what actually happened with Gaiman, but then grown men are responsible for what they do, especially when we live in a world where even young kids are held responsible for what they didn't do. Gaiman did, and I would never, give validation to LGBTQ crowd on Tumblr. Of course LGBTQ crowd is oppressed, but sex is not oxygen and it can be given up altogether instead of seeking validation for your sexual preferences by others, or it can be kept a secret, well, as secret as it is possible in the present world. I had realised that Neil Gaiman is a propagandist long before the sexual misconduct allegations surfaced, but that doesn't mean I'm still not a fan of his writing style, though I never liked him actively promoting LGBTQ narrative on Tumblr when instead he could have said all humans are equal no matter their sexual orientation and that they shouldn't be discriminated for that. You live for long enough and you see your heroes fall, and thankfully Neil Gaiman was never my hero, Anant Kushwaha and Genndy Tartakovsky still are. I loved Harry Potter as a child and see J K Rowing campaigning against the trans individuals, which I personally don't think is wrong, I get where she is coming from but I also know that it is not going to make any difference, still, working for a cause is great whether it makes a difference or not. I like Chris Columbus's Harry Potter, the first two movies, and I liked Prisoner of Azkaban too, for the absolute visual treat that movie was, Goblet of Fire too was good but all the movies after that were, in my opinion, trash. I like the warmth that Chris Columbus infuses his movies with. But then we live in times where we have come very far from books and movies. People, now, are their own entertainment. They are producing and consuming entertainment themselves. I, back in late 2000s and early 2010s, was exploring noir and transgressive fiction. Noir graphic novels and movies were present, but for transgressive fiction there wasn't much except Chuck Palahniuk and Bret Easton Ellis. I don't really follow Bret Easton Ellis but I have read Chuck. It is later I realised that the standard setting of this country itself is noir and transgressive and whatever noir and transgressive I write is going to fade in front of what actually happens. Still, I incorporate noir and transgressive elements in my writing, just as homage for my inclination towards those genres, in the sense that even in a different genre I don't shy away from graphic presentation of events. Kids today do not have role models, and it's anyway better to have role models who are long dead as they have left an image and a legacy, which although might not be true, no one can contend against. 

The Last Rite

I have realised one thing. It's about vibes. It's ultimately about vibes, and good memories. Not everyone is lucky enough to have good memories and experience good memories, but what can be done is extraction of something positive from every experience and vibe. There are people in the world from whom there very own lives and experiences are hijacked. One has to realise that if one has to intentionally make memories and vibes and they are not organic, it doesn't matter, and that basically counts as survival. But then survival is important, especially when you have people you love and care for. In the past decade the setup has gotten clear for me at least. It's not only annexation of others resources but also depriving them of the absolute basics. You know Maslow's triangle, this country, or the individuals who actually control it, thrive on keeping people at the bottom most level. They aren't just content with annexing and looting people of what is rightful but also depriving people of very basics that keep people human. And it's been going on since a long time. I was lucky to have a loved and happy childhood, a big number of kids of today aren't. They can't experience community as the kids of 90s experienced, because there is no community to experience. I finally ended up knowing that it isn't because of widespread internet or mobile phones. From what I came to know, I finally realised that, what I used to say in my college time young angst, is actually true, humanity is irredeemable. Hope for the future is the carrot that hangs in front of a common man and if he has to make it big he has to trample upon innocents. I don't know whether it was just for me or is it a general rule, but for me at least I realised that being in the corner doing your job and being happy is not an option anymore. You have to be in a consistent anguish, maybe it's an experience is individual to me, but actually doesn't look like it as the internet makes me see things that are happening around. The approach in this country is kind of Genghis Khan's approach, but make it extremely pathetic. I had promised myself I would let out this shit that I have seen, and then focus on things that actually matter to me, cultural aesthetics and art. Have you seen how the cultural aesthetics have gone down in past decade? It's a way of deprivation. Depriving people of a respectable cultural narrative and ending refinement in the lower stratas of society, making it all about murderous you or me survival. I see the pattern, everything that has been ever invented ultimately ends up having two fates, either turning into a financial machine or ends up getting weaponised. But this is not actually the reason why I now think that humanity is irredeemable, it is because I have finally realised that people have no agency on their own minds and bodies, let alone their loved ones. People's individuality can be taken away from them, not as a punishment but just for the recreation of a few. Technology can't really go further than where it has already reached and even if it does, from where it has already reached, further advancements don't really matter. Imagine going to Mars, or travelling to some other universe through a wormhole, but you are a slave, what difference all that adventure is going to make? None, as far as my opinion is concerned, I don't know about you. I have written all that I could have written, and now I want to focus on aesthetics and culture. I want to be able to develop a bit of dignity for my people through beauty, that's all I want. I was a staunch nationalist when I was studying in college, but not anymore, the ones those who have control over us are demonic, and yet they induce pity. There is no bravery here, it's a simple process of exploiting who can be exploited. They are basically genocidal scammers. The age of bravery has ended. 

The Practical Higher Purpose

Growing up we all have delusions that get cured promptly by the reality of the world. I had the delusion that man has a higher purpose in life, that he has a social responsibility and that he has to give back to the society. The truth, not really. Maybe giving back to the society was a thing once, not anymore though. The only truth is accumulating enough to be secure, as much as one can be. Cut the bullshit of giving back to the society, because you are in the same boat as the rest of the society, and whatever you have, no matter how much you have accumulated, can vanish just at the whims of, well, some. So not only you have to accumulate, but also keep what you have accumulated, safe. Delusion of higher purpose and giving back to the society is a dangerous one in today's times. The entity that governs us, judges us by our worst. Imagine you are a mulatto, you will be judged by the black side of family instead of the white side by this entity, and you are aware that the white is at the top of racial hierarchy and black is arguably at the bottom. This is just an example, and it can apply to anything, in Indian context, you can take example of caste, one of your parents belong to lower caste and one from the upper caste, and you would be judged by your lower caste side of your family. Another example can be schools. You studied in three schools, two of them were good schools and one of them not so much and I'm talking in respect of social class. You won't be judged by the classy schools that you studied in but that one shitty school that you took admission in due to necessity or by mistake. I'll tell you that it's not a rule actually, to judge people by their worst, it's just a highly optimised form of exploitation and when exploitation is optimised at this level, the process kind of becomes the rule. What governs us and controls us employs individuals who exploit the sick for their sickness, handicapped for their handicap, the helpless for their helplessness, it's kind of a direct system of exploitation. These individuals rape a rape victim for getting raped, that's how direct things are in this country, and they are employed at what could possibly be the highest level of existence in this country and on the planet. And this system that controls our lives by these "rules", hides in plain sight behind the drama of politics, media, entertainment and of course the big daddy of them all, religion. When you are always afraid for survival and of failing, you thank God for the little wins in life, and that's how people are made thankful for their own exploitation. I am a big advocate of belief in higher power, or God as you may call Him or Her, but don't make the mistake of thinking that it's God that is controlling your life, it's actually the politics of exploitation. God actually resides in the way a mother loves her child, the way chlorophyll makes food for the plant in the sunlight, the way animals adapt to their environments and survive, God resides in the good music that you listen to and feel a higher state of being. If at all I have learnt anything in this life of mine is that there is no higher purpose; higher purpose of life might have actually existed, but probably in early 20th century and the time before that, not anymore. Only higher purpose that remains now is to accumulate for survival, and for people like me, not mine, as I would have actually bounced from the planet after the awareness of the setup if I didn't have people who I loved. Accumulate as much and as good as you possibly can, that is if this demonic system of exploitation allows you at all, for your loved ones, for your family, and if you are selfish, for yourself. Accumulating is not a guarantee that you or your loved ones would not be tortured, humiliated and exploited but then as the saying goes, it's better to be sad in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. Thriving is not in your hands but accumulate for survival, or die trying, that's the only higher propose worth spending time in this country at least, I don't know about other countries. 

Welcome to Black Mesa

There are things growing up that you get inspired from. There are quite a few things that inspired me growing up, and one of the things was a video game called Half-life. There were several versions of that videogame. In one you are a theoretical physicist named Gordon Freeman who gets trapped in a situation where aliens from another planet and government forces who are sent to eliminate the aliens as well as any witnesses that include Gordon Freeman. Gordon has to fight the aliens as well as the marines who are sent to sanitise the facility. That character had an intense impact on me and made me want to do a PhD, the idea of a scientist who has to weild a gun and other weapons in extreme situation was tremendous for the twelve year old me. They actually don't make games like that anymore, or maybe that I'm partial towards that game. Other iterations of the same game had the facility security guard as the protagonist and one other iteration had the perspective of a young marine in the force sent to sanitise the facility. I loved the marine part, especially his team which composed of a heavy weapons specialist, a medic and a welder. The welder had a cigarette in his mouth at all times and used to light the welding machine with it. A few years later Half-life 2 was launched and it had much better graphics and physics then the previous game, but things were not the same, in my opinion it was not as grounded as the previous game as it was set in a dystopian future, though it is now I understand what they were actually trying to convey. Half-life is one of the things among uncountable many that inspired me and contributed to me becoming the man that I am today. I still remember I had the Children Knowledge Bank series from Pustak Mahal Delhi, which had interesting and curious things from all over the world. Then there were comics, and I had a lot of them. Comics were a rage back in the day and it was the time of Hindi comics. It is in corona lockdown that I came to know that they still publish the Hindi comics, or probably started again during the lockdown when people had enough time to fall back on nostalgia. I remember Cartoon Network, and I used to love shows like Dexter's Lab, though one of my most favourites was Johnny Quest among numerous others. Genndy Tartakovsky is my childhood hero, and so is Anant Kushwaha, the editor of the children's magazine Balhans and I especially loved the Chitrakatha issues of Balhans that used to come once in a while. I consumed comics, children's magazines, games and cartoons and later novels, and all that inspired me to write stories, and write in general. Though I now realise that in present political landscape, writing is futile but I still write my journal and update my blog once in a while, and write a story if I feel like it. 

Swarna Simhasan and Rambha

I had a philosophical bent of mind, and I was spiritual. That's not going anywhere, but I have finally realised that all this drama is about money and sex. The setup is so simple that even a teenager can predict it, what takes time though is the acceptance, accepting that it is actually the case. Sex is sex, and mostly in form of rape depending on the power dynamic, while money is in form of money, resources, land and real estate. With the kind of help other people, work hard, party hard mindset that I had back in the day, I couldn't have predicted that shit was going to be this simple, but unfortunately it is. There is a lot of drama, for both the aware and unaware of the actual setup, but basically things are about the two things in their various forms as I mentioned. The third thing in this setup is power, which comes by affiliation with certain groups or gangs. For normal people too power mostly comes from contacts and relationships and money, and the real power, and I'm talking about the absolute kind, comes from affiliation to a group that controls it all, the flow of money and the flow of power, women are just disposable pleasure things, of course not the ones in the families of the ones who are actually in control, but sisters, wives and daughters and unfortunately mothers too, of others. The most unfortunate thing in this country is lack of intelligence and empathy, especially in those who have access to everything and most of all, have absolute power. What would a person with absolute power do? Would he have empathy? Personally, if I have power, even if I don't have absolute version of it, I would first work on making myself capable of right judgements and that kind of requires empathy. Even if we leave empathy out of the picture, still even objective right judgements are good enough. It is here one realises that the providence that we rely on so heavily is composed of criminals. These are the extortionists of the yore who became big enough, of course thorough extortion and exploitation which continues till date, to hide behind affiliations and religion. I mean any setup which gives away in front of someone with average knowledge of psychology and mostly relies on pumping delusions, fear and guilt in people and their exploitation through it, is just not good enough. Always remember one thing, more the incompetence and lack of intelligence, more the use of force. The use of force can also be indicative of fear of loss of power and is directly proportional to it. I love my people and I love their happy delusions, at least the ones who are having happy delusions and are not suffering and I would never want to break them. But I must record what I see. You assume the worst in this country and it turns out to be true. Are families being broken just to sell more soaps? Of course not the lucky or chosen families but other families. You never know. You can't be sure of anything in this country anymore. A lot of what is going on depends on the mode of communication though, every financial transaction is digitised and if not, it is going to be digitised in near future, which although seems convenient to people also is a method of absolute financial control, which is a good way to ensure honest financial dealings if only the intent was that, it is a form of control for those who are already honest, if you are intelligent enough you'd guess the rest and here you know why God gives his hardest battles and shit like that. The ones who are digitising every form of communication and financial transactions so that they have a record of what a person communicated and transacted, which can be used as dirt on others if required, themsleves communicate and move their finances through, for the lack of a better word, channels, that are impossible to detect, mostly because they themselves control those channels, and the deepest of these "channels" is unfortunately the most absolute form of control that can be exercised on human beings. What business did I have in all this? None. I decided to write just because of unbelievable lack of responsibility, incompetence and demonic levels of totally needless cruelty, manipulation and exploitation. The most unfortunate thing is that the control is not only limited to finances, but also includes personal ability, and cognitive functions, and most important of them all, memory. A piece of advice to end this write-up, if you are suffering and want to know the reason for your suffering, no matter where you are in the country or the world; look home and by home I mean your home region. It is the cause of all your suffering. 

The Geniuses That Run The Show

The culture is never going to go back to what it was before. The aesthetics are never going back to what they were before. Relationships are never going to be as subtle as they were before. It is in past decade that I realised that the degradation and downfall of the culture is intentional, earlier I used to think that this country is such vast, complex and populated country that it's hard to employ policies, but then I discovered a whole new level at which policies are employed, and then I realised that everything that is happening is actually well thought of, or even if it is not well thought (the possibility of which is extremely low), then it is a product of intentional disregard. The primary shift in the culture since the 90s is the shift from cultural and relationship based lives of people to economic way of life. The approach is to make life in the lower stratas so hard, and thus increasing dishonesty, corruption and criminality, that people keep busy in survival and always remain afraid for survival. Plus with the increase in dishonesty, corruption and criminality means that there is dirt on everybody and so they can be dealt with easily based on valid moral, ethical and societal constructs whenever they become a problem. I have no idea which geniuses are making the policies, but it's quite short term and would require extreme amount of totalitarianism, which in fact is already in action for the ones who are aware and enlightened, at a mass scale. This shit is dystopian. Society was stratified earlier too, but now, people are being locked in their stratas forever. You see people making it, and by making it I mean, the middle class definition of making it and that means cracking IITs, UPSC and getting a job in Google or Microsoft, if you are middle class and at least a 90s kid and not younger, just wait a decade and you'll realise that every person who made it, is actually chosen, and they did not make it on their own. The drama going on at present is intense, accessing pornography is banned and yet there is more Indian pornography on the internet, which basically is exploitation of helpless lower class women, than ever before. People are being scammed of their hard earned money by scammers and these scammers have actual offices and function as actual offices in the metropolitan cities of this country. Aren't police and intelligence agencies a thing? You get it. It doesn't take too much brain to understand this game. Anyone who becomes troublesome in this arrangement of industrial scale exploitation, is either framed in a sex scandal or some other shit. Personally, I don't give a shit about any of it. What I am actually bothered about is actual destruction of the colloquial cultures of the land and exploitation of the colloquial people and destruction of their way of life. People, are being robbed of their dignity and even the whole cultures are being robbed of their dignity and aesthetics and are being replaced by a disfigured and mongrel culture which could be humiliated and shamed if the need arises. The subtle and refined folk and colloquial culture has been totally destroyed by now, just so that these motherfuckers can eat with knives and forks and practice western style of refinement while chosen artists from the folk and colloquial culture perform "folk arts" while they eat their five course meal. 

The Dilemma and Holding On To Your Own Truth

There are dilemmas in life, like whether to tell people the truth or not, doctors and writers face this dilemma quite often. I mean if you see a person in impending doom and you know that he can't be helped the least you could do is tell him the truth. It's just like telling an ailing person a diagnosis, he gets to take respite in it. As a writer, and I don't consider myself a writer, I have just been writing since my college days, and it's been more than a decade now, I have the dilemma that should I tell people the truth and ruin their lives or should I keep it to myself. It is past couple of years the realisation dawned on me that me telling or not telling the truth is not going to ruin anyone's life. This shit is predecided like reservation in jobs. Those who are bound to suffer would suffer anyway and those who are bound to have fun will keep having fun till the end of their lives, and in this country especially, at the expense of others. For the ones suffering, the least I could do is tell them their diagnosis. The best way to know the truth of this country, if it even exists, as my not so recent experiences point otherwise, is being a moral and upright citizen of this country. This is a sure shot way of enlightenment in this country. This country is run not by brains and reason but egos, very massive ones at that. And it makes me wonder how did these egos get so massive when just few (almost eight to be exact) decades ago the same motherfuckers who are orchestrating this shitshow of deprivation and exploitation (and not to mention, rape) were hanging by the balls of the British. The past decade has taught me that there is no method to this madness and I used to think otherwise before that, thinking there must be some reason behind this shit, nah, not really, it's just a bunch of assholes with massive egos doing whatever they want. I mean I have no business in this shit, and I never had, but since I'm writing why not document the truth. I have feeling that things are not going to end well with me, but I know enough truth to now know that the way things are going, things are not going to end well with anyone for that matter. This country took me by surprise in the past decade; with all the body of philosophical works from antiquity which could have been built upon, shit here is quite simple and direct. Not what I was expecting but then truth is truth and one has to accept it. The most fun realisation that I have had is that your actual truth can get crushed under egoistic delusions of the individuals in power, which is not where the actual fun lies as this is common realisation which people see in their daily lives in this country, the actual fun part is the level it is capable of happening. Your reality can be interpreted in infinite ways, of course given the setup none of those infinite ways are going to be positive, and none would correspond to your personal story but that's how things actually are. God is nowhere in the picture, but I advocate for personal belief at least, for respite. It has been a throughly disappointing experience for me but then it's been totally my fault for having hopes and expectations. My advice, stick to your version, the most authentic version, of your life and your truth. I'm not saying that it would get you through because if you had to get through it wouldn't have happened in the first place, but at least you would have the company of your own sweet truth. 

The Ground Report of Romance

Valentine's day just passed a couple of days before and I was thinking about romance. Romance in this country, after late 2000s is a privilege that you only have access to when you are travelling in the first class compartment of the train this society is. Earlier there was love in arranged marriages too, gentle unspoken love, which, silently was romantic in itself which in lucky families continues still but only in the lucky ones. There was homely romance, "aap ki aankhon mein kuch mehke huye se raaz hain", and then there came the era of trashy romantic movies of 90s in which a rich heroine loves an underprivileged hero, of course they were selling dreams, and those dreams probably would have ruined and ended the lives of many a men in a society like which we have. Romance in today's times, especially politically speaking, is akin to the phrase "love in the times of cholera", you got to wade through shit to achieve romance and in my opinion that's really not worth it. The oldies in control, I suppose it's the oldies that are in control because the 90s kids are either busy surviving or are adding cheap sounds on the "comedy shows" of Indian television, or are making webseries which are supposed to make them look smart in the eyes of cattle class but people who have seen shit or have been made to see shit in this country, see through it. Pussy is a commodity and a currency, and for unlucky ones, a bait, you might hate me for saying it loud but it's not my belief, it's just an observation. I say this because I'm sick of the talk of respecting women and "women are goddesses", bullshit in this country. The truth is, you have to save the women in your family and your woman from predators around. My personal idea of romance stems from equality, equality of a man and a woman. All my life I have been considering women as superior to men, turns out they are not, simply because of the massive difference in the power dynamic between males and females in this country. Good men who consider men and women equal or women superior would suffer anyway because they made the mistakes of deviating from the actual narrative of this country, the tribal mindset that actually runs this country from the background. I miss the times when you could actually and without irony watch 50 First Dates on Star Movies, yes those times existed. It's not like producers didn't lay gullible actresses for roles back then, but at least the stories back then had conviction and so did the audience. How many of you can unironically watch Titanic if it released today? Only the fools would, who would be then shamed and paraded until they accept the standard narrative of this country as the gospel and treat women as they are actually meant to be treated in this country. The political props with massive bindis do nothing but yap, and I have no idea that if these ladies recognise that they are mere political props, but at least they are allowed to yap, many women in this country don't even have that luxury. Don't get fooled, love doesn't really last in this country after late 2000s, unless of course you are in the first class compartment of the train this society is. Of course we can't generalise everything, but suffering of women is quite endemic while the YouTube channel girls post about their "date nights", "girl's nightouts" and their "outfit for the day" giving unrealistic expectations to middle class girls of this country a small chunk of who end up becoming escorts if they are good looking. Romance for me is dead, but then I would say not actually, because in my case it is instinctive with the women I love. I'm romantic to my women, and it's effortless. If I call a woman my woman, it's only because she agrees to my soul, and then things become effortless, as it should be for everyone but then how would the train travel to the future, which actually seems bleak for all other compartments except the first class. 

A Discussion About Faith

I divide my faith into three domains, political, scientific and personal. It would seem funny that I ended up doing so much work on a simple thing as faith, but trust me it was absolutely required. I will talk about my personal faith and faith in general. Politically I'm an atheist, scientifically, an agnostic and personally I'm a deeply spiritual person who has belief in mother goddesses. There are clan goddesses on both sides of my family so I have always felt inclined towards Mother Goddesses. I believe God is like Sun, every culture has a different name and concepts related to it, but it is what it is, Sun. And here comes the concept of Parmeshwara or Paramatma. I respect all Gods, but personally my prime faith is in mother goddesses. Anyone who has listened to music can't deny that God exists. But then you open YouTube, and see people baiting a Komodo Dragon with a poor lamb for views, and you realise God might not be something we are conditioned to believe in. I'm not talking from the perspective of the lamb who has its legs broken as a bait to the Komodo Dragon, I'm talking about the mindset of the individual who decided to break the legs of the lamb and bait the Komodo Dragon to swallow the poor lamb live on video, just so he gets a bunch of views. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an animal activist, my personal stand is first people should learn to be good to other humans, especially the weaker of them and then comes the number of animals, though it's great, as I do, to be kind to animals in the meanwhile too. The issue here is, that in this country, the same mindset that the person who baited the Komodo Dragon with a lamb, is used for the very people of this country. I follow my religion, for the lack of a better word, religiously. I participate in family pujas, havans and all the religious events in my family, I subscribe to the Vedas and Puranas as a part of my culture, but I have lived long enough to know and realise that religion in this country is a scam and a front for exploitation and places of worship are holy not because of the ones who are administrating it, but because of the faith of the ones who visit them. I know my faith, and I know that it's real and authentic. I'll share a personal experience, I don't feel peace at North Indian temples, only North Indian religious place I felt peace at was Golden Temple, while I feel immense peace at South Indian temples, especially the temples of Tamil Nadu. I guess it has something to do with destruction of real relics of faith by the invaders, but North India except Golden Temple doesn't really cut it for me as far as faith goes. As I grew mature, I was baffled to realise the way religion is used to exploit people in this country, it's basically guilt-tripping and blackmail and exploitation on the basis of it, but it's not the fault of the religion if the ones currently in charge of it are corrupt. As far as my personal faith goes I had the option to choose a deity, a manifestation of the Supreme Mother, from both sides of my family, and I discarded the idea. I chose the manifestations of The Mother that agree with me. So, I finally chose, Chamunda, the goddess of Wrath, and Saraswati, the goddess of knowledge and learning and rejected all the weak representations of them we have in literature. Faith is a thing that heals. Anxiety starts with an idea, and depression starts with anxiety and mental disorders start with depression. Faith, in a diety that you are comfortable with nips the anxiety in the bud. It gives you peace and safety and that's why I recommend personal faith to everyone, no matter what is their political and scientific stance to God is. Faith keeps the mind healthy, I mean as much as it can be in the current exploitative political setup, and a healthy mind leads to a healthy body. Politically speaking, let me be clear to you, we are the lamb that is being used to bait Komodo Dragons of the society and religion is the stick that is used to break our legs, while someone is making money broadcasting it live. But it doesn't matter in the long run, as long as your God, in my case The Mother, keeps you peaceful and fearless. 

Chandamama

The commotion of technology is dying down, except in those who and whose families still operate basic mobile phones, not out of love of that technology but due to lack of money. This class is probably going to be the next IITians and IAS, at least a small fraction of them surely would become IITians and IAS. One grows up and realises that merit is a scam, sadly the parents of 90s kids would never understand, but parents of gen Z understand it a little bit and parents of gen alpha kind of understand it completely, the ones who don't, including the deprived classes have their kids on the way of becoming IITians and IAS, though not in a good way. Education is the most important thing but unfortunately in this country education doesn't change a thing, and one realises that a lot of the uneducated people in this land are better than the educated lot. Still, education is essential because people are exploited on the basis of lack of education, and knowledge. First it's about literacy, then it's about financial education and then it becomes about education of technology and access to it. Kids who don't have computers and do not know coding are missing out on a lot. The 90s middle class kids' parents prevented them from watching TV for studies and these parents, they are now mostly technologically illiterate and the majority of their technological know how is spent on reading WhatsApp propaganda and in fake pleasantries on Facebook. Anyone who has been in the 90s middle class knows that 90s middle class had an aesthetic of its own. The men used to read India Today, the women, Grihashobha, Manorama and Grihlaxmi and the kids Hindi and sometimes, if they are lucky, English comics. You go to railway stations and find all A.H. Wheeler stalls are closed now. The middle class's aesthetic is dead now and with it its dignity. The middle class is permanent now. And now again when a son or daughter of a rickshawala becomes an IAS, the middle class dad of today will show it to his son or daughter to shame them, the son or daughter still not recognising that they have some talent that they can use to earn money, after all it's just money that matters in today's times. The times have changed and these times do not reward perseverance and hardwork, and the middle class which is still stuck in the 90s, minus the aesthetic and the beauty of 90s middle class, has become a torture chamber for young boys and girls who hang themselves in their rooms in Kota.