Time Variance Authority

My primary interests since always other than culture and folk life have been universe and nature. I'm a scientific person at heart though despite being scientific I gravitate towards spirituality, mysticism and esoterism too.  I think philosophy is useful but I also think that after knowledge of essential philosophy it's just becomes mental gymnastics in the current political scenario of the world. Still, philosophy is essential as it is something that furthers knowledge. After getting aware of the political reality of the world and of the absolute slavery people live in my interest in the universe dwindled, but then I guess why should I stop writing about it especially when I'm interested in the subject. Culture and folk life has anyway become redundant and though I would do my part in preserving what I know about this battle has already been lost. The only hope is people writing authentic books about them, which, as we witness the intellectual bankruptcy and decline of this nation, seems impossible, and people adapting it one more module of their cosmopolitan personalities. Nature and Universe are here to stay, and when you see through the political reality of the world, the remain as the only solace, and the most authentic sources of joy and for intellectually curious add science in the mix too. I wonder about terraforming planets, developing self-sustaining ecosystems on them and I wonder about space travel, first to different planets and then possibly to different galaxies. Good thing about the 90s was there was a sense of wonder and there were plenty of comics and movies about space travel. Hollywood often explores the topic and I enjoy Marvel and DC and their theories about the universe, multiverse and space. One of the things that really interests me is the concept of timelines in comic book movies. The idea that there are different versions of us in different timelines is interesting. Imagine time as a straight line and imaging each point on that line giving rise to infinite lines and each point in those lines again giving rise to infinite lines, so on and so forth. To imagine that we theoretically may have different versions of us living based on our decisions is interesting. It was also a source of tremendous relief when I was suffering incessantly though finally it turns out that it's just political persecution of local nature in my case and no decision I have taken would have changed my fate, they write the fates of people in advance with just torture, humiliation and framing being in real-time. Theoretically though you can live in timelines which can be drastically worse too, but then if I have learnt anything it's that it's what inside you that matters and if it is good you'd come out of any shit that you step into. Always remember one thing, death is nothing to be afraid of, and the only reason one should fear death is the wellbeing of our loved ones. If at all, death is a release, though we should be careful that we don't throw our life around. 

Ahura Mazda

Linguistics matters, and while religion should not matter unfortunately it does too. Ever wondered how literary and shudh Hindi is ridiculed in India of all countries while Urdu is considered an aesthetic language and is the lingua franca of Bollywood and literary circles. Here is an assignment: search "Soorajmukhi by Bhupinder Singh" on YouTube and listen to it. I grew up on Pakistani Rock bands like Call, Jal, Strings and Raeth so I'm actually a fan of urdu aesthetics but the way Hindi is treated, except in government documents is kind of strange. Shudh and literary Hindi is now devoid of all aesthetics and that's why I recommended you to listen to Soorajmukhi by Bhupinder Singh. Here is a mental exercise for you again, Muslims consist of fifteen percent of the Indian population, and yet they are always in the dominant national narrative. It could be because of two reasons, either they have an insidious hold in the power circles, or that it is an active game of identity politics that always keeps them in the limelight. I respect all religions, mostly because they are all different paths of reaching the infinite which we call as God. Though I won't say I'm a very big fan of Islam mostly because in its political form it is basically an ideology of conquest and subjugation and it doesn't really allow diversity and pluralism in its philosophy and so diversity and pluralism becomes totally dependent on those who interpret it, which knowing the history of humanity may not turn out to be right. The Muslims who are privileged or enlightened gravitate towards Sufism, while the bottom of the barrel scum following the ideology get weaponised and radicalised in hopes of getting fresh pussy in heaven. No other religion could have caused the partition of India, and India lost a huge chunk of land during it and there is a threat of losing more. Islam cucked most of the regions neighbouring to us, and cucked us. Persia got cucked, present day Afghanistan got cucked and India, especially the north too got cucked. Islam doesn't really believe in preserving history as it is evident in the destruction Bamiyan Buddhas in Afghanistan and destruction of temples, libararies and centres of learning in India in the past. Only Islamic country I see preserving its past and traditions, at least at present and I don't know about the future, is Indonesia. You can see the coalition between the left and Islam all over the world and in India you can see it in the coalition of Islamists and Marxists in elite institutions like JNU, I mean the oil money from middle-east has to go somewhere. Funnily enough communists are first to get cucked by Islam when it gets power. Persia got cucked by Islam, and it's original religion and culture got totally decimated by it and yet it is responsible for most of the aesthetics that are in Islam in the region and subcontinent. The Indian, especially North Indian, Islamic aesthetics are not Arab in origin, but Persian. And here the Parsis come to India, exiled by their country, and cuck the Indians through business. Indians ultimately are the most cucked people on the planet, and I used to think it's resilience, but the past decade tells me it's not, it's the design of slavery. The British chose the absolute scum to rule after they left and looking at state of nation today, they haven't really disappointed. I'm not a big fan of Manusmriti either but the thing about Hinduism is that it is a diverse philosophy, in which you can pick and choose what to believe, I can choose to be a Vaishnav, a Shaiv, a Shakt, a Charvaka or I can choose to believe in Samkhya, Advaita Vedanta or I can even choose to be an atheist, which the current political establishment is trying to change, it's basically Islamification of Hinduism with radicalism and dogma and weaponisation of unemployed idiots. The worst kind of rapists prevent couples from meeting in parks and on Valentine's day but then that's as much related to class as it is to religion. My suggestion, read Premchand, read Ramdhari Singh Dinkar, read Jaishankar Prasad and read the writers of the time when literary Hindi actually used to matter. 

Treehouses In The Republic of Pajeetland

Keeping the wonder alive is the key. Existence can become terrible, but there resides in you a magic that can keep your life bearable or even beautiful. I miss the warmth of Phantom’s tree house in midst of the dense jungle, or that of Batcave of the 70s and 80s Batman. I think it’s your job to keep the things you enjoy alive. If I like warm stories, that’s what I should do, write warm stories. But then I decided that first I must write the truth and once that is dealt with, I must get on to write warm stories. Writing warm stories in today’s time is tricky, because people’s imaginations are lacking and also because of the political climate of, not only this country, but the world and that’s what I have been working on, finding a right spot, a right balance of warmth and truth. I recently revisited a story by Anant Kushwaha, one of my childhood heroes and I realised that he had been doing what I have been thinking of doing throughout. He told the truth, preserved beauty and culture and provided warmth, and he did this to children. It didn’t really matter though because most of those children are now mindless automatons in the race of survival but what he infused would come to the fore when it must. The reality of this country, since I have seen it, is immensely ugly not because of people but because it is all centrally propogated and intentional, and people getting immensely selfish, corrupt and hypocritical is all by design, but then I personally have had a great childhood thanks to my family and all the books I have read. I got to imagine, which kids of today won’t get to do. What they’d get to do, however, is identify patterns as we see in the meme culture of today which is definitely not bad and I love memes, but imagination could have coexisted with pattern recognition which now doesn’t. I mean I won’t be wrong in saying that this country is fucked, and people are just being used as intelligence operatives and analysts against each other and of course as sex slaves for live broadcast of pornography for the elites, but that doesn’t really matter what matters is that they realise what truly matters in life. Money is essential, because it ensures physical survival but other than that it’s warmth and peace and one must try to have as much of it as possible in their lives. I hope that kids of today, other than earning money manage to identify the things that really matter. The trend of creating shortform videos in common folk will die down for the majority, but only after creating some monsters and taking some lives, the industry plants however will keep being influencers. This is not the West that allows breathing space, doing anything in India has social consequences by design and unfortunately the rot too is by design. The only difference between India of past and today is that the culture has eroded and now there is a lot of unrecyclable garbage and plastic pollution. Individuals who used to poison you in trains and take your money, now empty your bank accounts through the internet and the same intelligence and police agencies which can track an anonymous account for a political comment on social media can’t track them.

Romulus Indica

People can be unfathomably evil. I didn't believe it when I was younger, and I used to think that there might be some redeeming qualities in people however evil they actually may be but I was wrong. Individuals who can send you to eternity in hell just because they don't like your face or anything else of trivial nature, that too not because of any fault in you but because of faults in them, exist. It's all about establishing supremacy no matter what, and behind the smokescreen of religion, law and morals, this is what goes on. I'm just glad that I got acquainted to it. Shit is hilarious. Indians probably come in the global race hierarchy just above the Africans, or at max one level higher than that. That you can suffer infinite hell just because of whims of some was a revelation, and it gets even funnier when they invade your space and do it without provocation, but then when it happens and at a level where retaliation is impossible you get clarity about the world as it exists today and as it has existed since antiquity. Of course brute force and deception is what survives and rules, but then when you delve deeper, if it is possible for you in current political climate, you realise that there is something greater than that in people something which cannot really be oppressed. Personally speaking, shit that I got into, without provocation of any kind at all, is whimsical at best from the side of those who run the game and funnily enough I wasn't even that fond of survival but looking at the incompetence of the assholes running the game I have decided to survive, at least as long as my health permits. After seeing what I have seen, one realises that humanity is irredeemable, corruption due to power is inevitable. Though not all those who have power get corrupted, but after seeing the truth of this country and my supposed region I realise that it is not them who have power at present. When I was younger, I wanted to find myself a woman with whom I could talk about the mysteries of the universe. Space exploration has been one my interests since childhood, space exploration, terraforming planets finding if wormholes really exist. Do you know a lot of stars you see in sky are dead. They die till their light reaches your eyes. How great it would have been to develop self-sustaining ecosystems on Mars. It would have been fun. There are some things that have happened to me that go in the realm of occult, and that makes me realise that even magic, except the magic that resides within people, is for the privileged. The unprivileged get sick and die, no magic saves them. Life, if you are unprivileged, in the present it is just about you dealing with a barrage of victim blaming and gaslighting, and telling you to be thankful despite continued torture and exploitation, and it has been like that since forever. For me it's been like that for quite a while, more than two whole decades, and that's why I say that education is the real magic because it helped me diagnose my problem. I still love the universe and the thought of exploring it, as it is a vast place, so vast that each person on the earth could have a planet of his or her own. But then I remember that individuals that hate you so much that they would send you for infinity in hell just because of some trivial attribute of yours which is actually due to fault within them, and so I realise that even if humans manage to terraform Mars, it would just be a bunch of slaves mining minerals, which is a concept explored in a lot of film and television, one example being the television series The Expanse and recently in the movie, Alien: Romulus, but it becomes worse when one realises that humans are enslaved up to their nerves and since quite sometime. 

Robofarm Sustained Guillotine

The heaven you built in your head has been colonised. You can still build another though, just build it in your subconscious without thinking about it much. The concious to subconscious is like a cupboard leading to Narnia. The conscious can be colonised, the subconscious can't, yet, I think. Isn't it funny, your consciousness, your mind can be enslaved, possessed and yet subconscious remains free? This shit is like magic. Probably your heaven already exists in your subconscious but your ultimate heaven depends on seeing the ultimate of humanity, the edge of the world. I have seen it and I have my island of peace in my subconscious, my heaven, with all the things I love, and I do not let it float on my consciousness because my consciousness has been colonised. Trust the process, you just have to think about your heaven, and blink and it will manifest in your subconscious. Your life experiences, everything you have liked, learned, experienced and loved will actually act as bricks, and brick by brick your heaven will get constructed. The world is a torture chamber so you might not get to experience this heaven, but know that the moment you think about it it gets formed and then it powers you from within. Can subconscious be colonised? As far as I know, not yet, but it might in future. Though your connection to your subconscious can be severed, and your body can be, ahem, should I say it, neurologically possessed, just like someone wearing you like a body suit. How do you think that they manufacture whores and criminals other than poverty. You lose your touch with your subconscious, but it remains active, and so you can build and expand your heaven. The modern terminology for subconscious is unconscious, which I do not like very much because it is anything but unconscious. The politics makes you a shit sandwich, your awareness, the politics and the subconscious. Your awareness and subconscious are the bread in between which shit of politics is present, and if you are unlucky you would lose touch with your self and made to be possessed by a criminals or a whore. Sounds like mediaeval politics? It has always been mediaeval and will always be with cosmetic changes like "flying cars" and bullet trains. How do you think so many men are feeling like women and vice versa. Don't bother with that though, just bother with the heaven within you, and to prevent it from being tainted with politics and being colonised, shift it to your subconscious. 

Cozy Places

Life was good when you thought that you could have had a cabin in the woods or a cottage in the hills away from the hullabaloo of the city life. The realisation one is surveilled at all times and by the worst scum humanity has possibly produced, grounds you. The correct method of climbing the social ladder is to close and lock the door after you, it may not be morally correct but it is the standard method. In this country the best way to eat a pizza is to make sure others can't eat it. When I was a kid, I used to think that how can people deprive girls of nutritious food, like eggs. It was unbelievable to me, but after growing up I realised that the system, and I'm not talking about the government, but the system that really governs our lives, systematically promotes these things. Girls are deprived of nutritious food, of course in lower classes, just because they are girls. You look at Purvanchal and there is just religion and community outside, and it is because the people, the common people are good. My culture, the actual culture, is beautiful, but then I have had the not-so-privilege of looking into the abyss of neuropsychological reality of the region and through it the minds of those who control the setup and it's nothing but sex, rape, exploitation and deprivation. I mean when you are raping someone the least you could do is give them is nutritious food, but then this is where deprivation comes in picture. It's demonic but also terribly pathetic because shit is stratified, English speaking elites at top, Urdu speaking Islamists second, Sanskrit speaking Brahmins and godmen third and fourth and the last is the colloquial people, though this is just one of the multiple ways society is stratified as they have really taken a multipronged approach. Hitler is considered to be the most evil person in modern history, though what I have learnt in the past decade I have started to have my doubts, he might be evil but people as evil or even more evil than him exist but since he is embodiment of evil in modern society I will use him as an example. In the lowest stratas you can get away with Hitler level of torture and murder of people and nobody will bat an eye because it is being done in the lowest strata. It matters to me, especially now because I like to quantify pain, and also because I have realised that in this country it is totally needless and is done for sadistic pleasure and power trips. Keeping people in their strata is not difficult, you can intimidate them which is obviously being done, but you can also provide them with fulfillment, like a potter finding fulfillment in making pottery. If he is fulfilled making pottery and earning enough to live by why would he even bother thinking of social mobility which is the chief concern of those in power. But the goal is not this, the goal is deriving pleasure from needless subjugation and torture and rape of people. What kind of individual would take pleasure in raping women of a person's family in front of them and what kind of pleasure? The answer is, an absolute asshole and the pleasure would be of humiliating that person and feeling the power trip. These kind of individuals have access to people's bodies and minds in Purvanchal and Bihar, literally, and it might be true for the rest of the country too. Government is nowhere in the picture here. Just in 2015, I used to search cozy pictures on Tumblr, like cozy bedrooms with glass windows with rain outside. That doesn't really exist actually and if it does it does either if you are ignorant and delusional or if you are not then by depriving others of it and I'm not into being both. As far as I go I don't really need to eat a pizza if I have to simultaneously deprive others from eating it. 

Legends of The Hidden Temple

I loved how 90s were able to sustain myths and mysteries. There were television documentaries, shows like Mummies Alive and Carmen Sandiego and so many others that made us feel that there is a lot to explore in on Earth and the universe. Now we have satellites and cameras everywhere and that sense of mystery has vanished from most people's minds. What is Lara Croft going to do when you can zoom in on the possibly the remotest area through Google Maps and Google Earth. The 90s media did one thing and in the most exciting and authentic manner, that was to sustain mystery and mythicality about the world, the earth and the universe. Remember when Mummies used to be a thing on TV. You remember the movie The Mummy and how good it was? During those times, if someone had told me that the world after I became an adult would be a stratified dystopian totalitarian hellhole, I wouldn't have believed it and yet here we are, living it in real-time. Old cultures are overanalysed now in the media and with a narcissistic and egoistic lens and media is filled with those analyses. The correct way of analysis is however not with ego or narcissism but either with uninvolved purely scientific analysis or with empathy. These totalitarian motherfuckers are rewriting history in broad daylight and you are watching them do it, in real-time. Anyone who has lived in the 90s knows that living has nuances that possibly can't be analysed or explained. The feelings we had while living in the 90s can't really be explained exactly, and when you look at grandparents you realise that their lives were even more vast, detailed and entrenched in traditions in a way that the people living in modern times can't even imagine, imagine the lives of people even before them. As a far as India goes, the individuals who run this country are only interested in rape and exploitation and this is my lived experience of the past decade. They are actually intellectually bankrupt and incompetent which was hard to believe for me earlier but I have gotten so many evidences that I think I have to believe it. Existence for common people now anyway is living in individualised and customised prisons disconnected from each other, and it is because miscommunication and division is what actually keeps the wheel of politics moving. We are slaves and life is a game. It's all not as serious. Though it is serious for us. 

Shakura Ka Chakravyuh

The idea of the concept of being or not being deserving to do something never really existed in my life until my stay in Bihar. My supposed home culture of Purvanchal and culture of Bihar are closely associated and I would give Bihar its due in me getting illuminated about the political reality of this country. It gave me an idea how people are prevented and gatekept from things like reading, learning and even basic things like food items. This rotten culture exists from Bihar to Purvanchal and other places too to some effect and it is insidious, it's done from inside you. Though the main topic of this post is not this, it's just a primer. Being gatekept from literature and western media only appeared in my life during my days in Bihar. I have been reading literature whole of my life so this change was easily noticeable. The reasons appearing were numerous, from nationalism to not deserving to read western or even eastern literature. I was respectful to the "entity" so I slowed down a bit but ultimately it turns out that Bihar and Purvanchal are run by a criminal syndicate (like all places, just more pathetic) and by individuals who are village rapists and extortionists, and this is also true at the neurological and consciousness level. As far as things go, this shit could be true for the rest of the country as well. Let me come to the main topic though and it is how to navigate hatred when consuming literature or media. When I was a kid, during reading comic books and watching movies I never really saw the caste, nationality, or race, it was only as noticeable as it was obvious, nothing more. My superheroes were not white or black, they were just superheroes, and in case of Indian superheroes the creators tried their best to keep them casteless but even when it was not, it didn't matter to me. Today's game, not only in India but the world over, is identity politics, race, gender, caste and whatever else. I love Lovecraft, I love his writing and I love his stories, but he has been cancelled long back for being a racist. I have actually learnt to seperate the art from the artist. If the art or literature doesn't have any evidence of racism why would I stop consuming or reading it? Superman, is a superhero for most of the world's children and nationalism isn't going to stop that, a better option would be to give the children an indigenous alternative but that these motherfuckers won't do because of reasons unknown to me but I suspect it is related to empowerment of people. Strong characters, even if fictional, empower people and that wouldn't help the exploitation that is going on in this country at the psychological plane. The extreme situation in which I would have to reject Superman or Batman or any other American superhero would be if India goes to war with US. Still, I like the American superheroes or comic characters for the values they represent and the values they represent are universal. Neil Gaiman recently got embroiled in sexual misconduct cases, I don't like the content of Neil Gaiman's writing in particular, but I do like very much his writing, the flow of it, the mechanics of it and I'm not going to cancel Neil Gaiman the writer due to Neil Gaiman the predator. It must be a controversial stand, but it becomes way less controversial when we realise that we are literally being ruled by child rapists and child murderers upto our nerves and bones. I don't like race swapping characters, like Ariel as black, or Professor Snape as black, I am in favour of developing original empowered characters for minority or marginalised communities. I wouldn't like Blade to be race swapped too. But these bastards don't give a fuck about that, it's just a sort of dark humour for them. They just want to incite psychological reactions from people. Why can't a black spy be developed instead of a black James Bond, heck make him a spin off from a James Bond itself, but then you get the drift of what I'm saying. I didn't mind Sam Wilson taking over the mantle of Captain America as Captain America is symbolic title which shifted from Steve Rogers to Sam Wilson, but then at the end of the day it is a fictional character and a corporate property no matter how attached since childhood you are to a character, and the same goes for Professor Snape and it doesn't really matter. If you are aware you can tell the artists who have the right intent and do not not bother about race or identity politics, characters are just characters for them, they are aware, yes, but their personal intent is not ugly. Tarantino is one such guy. You must remember movies like Rush Hour from the 90s, diversity without identity politics and hate peddling. I have casually shifted to pre-2000s literature and media, except for superhero movies and I watch wildlife documentaries and sometimes I order a pizza and a croissant too not truly knowing if I deserve to eat them or not.

Fruit Punch

Even in depths of hell, beauty can be cultivated in terrariums and aquariums and when that is done, individuals islands of freedom and peace can be thought of building. There was beauty in villages once, actual beauty, despite the power struggle. People used to work together in weddings or during the times of need. Now there is panchayat politics that is sustained by distributing liquor. This liquor is not consumed with freedom and pride, like it is consumed in elite pubs, it is consumed with shame and the tag of being a drunkard. The difference between a drunkard and whiskey connoisseur is class. There are unspoken rules and even though they have been there since quite sometime a majority of people don't know them. Alcohol sells, not because it helps people celebrate but because it helps people find relief from existence and helps to sleep, not to mention it ends up becoming a habit and addiction. Only the privileged actually celebrate with alcohol. I have nothing to celebrate so I don't drink it except sometimes socially. Though sometimes I feel it would be good to watch and listen to a good music video and drink at home. What I do however is smoking, and that too I'm trying to quit. I smoking was a given when you talk about a guy reading and writing noir, but then with progressive decrease in lung capacity, the antihero can't sustain for long with a cigarette in his mouth, life is as it is on a hardboiled mode. The crux of the matter is extortion. Make something legal and socially unacceptable and then you can extort people on the basis of it. Good game isn't it. I unfortunately read history and civics in school and last time I checked constitution was still in effect and so I spent majority of my life believing in law. Turns out it's just a safety net for those who drink alcohol for fun and not for relief. Cultivation of beauty is difficult in a setting like this and so you have to start with terrariums and aquariums, then as your muscles start to grow you can try building your island and after that you can tie your hammock on the coconut trees and casually sip your pina colada. 

Love and Thunder

I like to focus on exchanges of love in different cultures, on all kinds of exchanges of love. You remember how your maternal grandmother loved you, or even paternal grandmother. It feels even more selfless than mother's love and you somehow feel more entitled and yet more dismissive of it than the love of your mother. There are relationships, and the dynamics in different cultures have similarities and yet have different nuances that may be due to individual diffrences, cultural differences and even vibes. The saddest thing is that not everyone is lucky to have a happy childhood. Kids get mistreated, physically abused and molested, and as far as molestation goes girls even more so. This shit becomes even more demonic after I realised that it is centrally controlled and even if it is not done intentionally, it can surely be prevented, and I used to think, like other people, that all of it is part of a grand plan for some greater good, though the political enlightenment in the past decade made me realise that it is not so, it's just a bunch of rich individuals employing criminals for crowd control and they are raping, exploiting, torturing and murdering anyone they want. You just can't tell who is it. Who knew life could be this simple. I would like to think that I got into the soup due to my in-depth knowledge of human condition and psychology, throw in it local hatred from my hometown and region, and it only made me realise that just like how previously lower castes were prevented from learning shastras and going to temples, people are now prevented from learning things and especially things like technology and at a neurological level. I'm talking about common people and not about entitled chosen individuals. Love, the kind of love people felt as latest as the 90s, is fast disappearing. Though love as an entity can't really disappear it will be there in some or other form, though it's potency can be diluted by awareness and intellect. I believe in truth and love, and I believe if there is a God, he too believes in the same. And I would like to believe that if there is a God, he is at least as intelligent as me. There are concepts, like eternity in hell and being born as an animal in the next incarnation or life. Though that kind of gets diluted when you get eternity in hell for jacking off on internet pornography while those who actually rape and exploit people and do human trafficking and those who coerce women into making pornography, live in heaven on Earth and funnily enough you can suffer physical and sociological hell on earth but suffering psychological hell on earth totally depends on you having a conscience, making it clear that only good people suffer. I'm actually not afraid of hell. I have my concept of God, and I have evidence, though subjective, that the God I grew up reading about and believing in doesn't really exist, though I have realised that I can manifest Her through faith and belief. I have trained myself enough and now I'm living, well as much as I can with the constant physical and psychological pain, as cozily as I can, and I still train myself as I believe learning and training yourself should never really stop. Love is my focus and it would be focus of my writing. Love and truth. 

Get Out

It's easy to fall in trap of -isms. The real life and politics is simple. Do your work diligently, mind your business, do not harm others, help those who are good and in need, earn money and keep your family happy. If despite the intentions you find it hard to do, then you must realise that the problem is not with you but in the world and the external political setup. World would be a better place if everyone did their job honestly, but they don't and they harm others for petty gains and unfortunately even for pleasure. The problem of the world is not -isms, the problem is that a bunch of individuals want to retain what they think is their right to derive pleasure from pain, suffering and deprivation of others. To a common man who just want to do his work and be happy, this seems unbelievable but unfortunately this is the truth. -isms are either formed to delude people or in hope for a better world. The world unfortunately is not going to be a better place, as it is already a better place for individuals for whom it is, and they make sure that it doesn't remain so for others. Finding pleasure in the pain, suffering and deprivation of others and getting a power trip from subjugating others is like a drug addiction, it gives a dopamine boost to those who are indulged in it. It is a way of life for them. Methods are numerous, depriving, torturing, raping and hatching long term conspiracies for sustained release of dopamine. This is what the real problem of the world is, and that's how I know world is never going to be a better place. The slavery has reached a place where it can't be reversed, and for a person like me who believed in space exploration it becomes redundant as there is no point in exploring space if you are a slave. You would be ultimately used for mining minerals on Mars. Absolute advantage in power dynamic has been established, where you can't know anything about the oppressors but they can and do know everything about you and exploit that knowledge freely. The arrangement is such that absolute scum can become literal gods for you, but they are human. People can be and are prevented from accessing their real self, but it can be accessed, it just takes a lot of effort and could take trial and error. When you are ultimately able to find your real self, you realise that it is in fact politics just at a level of nerves, bones and consciousness and then your actual self is able to distinguish what belongs to you and what has been externally fed to you just like the immunity in the body. The control never goes though, it remains, and it can cross more than hundred percent but even if the smallest blip of your own consciousness remains you can see what is being done through your body and mind. You can resist a little at present, and that's why I can write, but the way technology is evolving people may end up being complete automatons with their own consciousness remaining just as an even smaller blip than today while their mind and bodies are used for playing social games at the expense of damage to their identity and suffering. In all this one must realise one thing, it's all ultimately about core beliefs. 

Breaking Bad

I miss authentic comic books in the country, rooted in culture and science fiction. Growing up, I realised a lot of them were inspired by western comics but they still had Indian authenticity to them even after deriving from western comics books. A few comic book companies remain, and they publish sporadically but a lot of stories in them now lack the depth they once had. Comic book reading and comic collecting is an expensive hobby and one of the reasons I gave up reading comic books after my teenage years. I tried to reignite the interest later, and I had kind of kept myself updated about comic book ecosystem, but then Indian comics got obliterated from the scene by middle of 2010s, which was interesting because a lot of new comic book companies, and some containing names like Shekhar Kapur, were launched in late 2000s and early 2010s. During corona lockdown, people started sending each others PDFs of old 90s comics and it led to formation of new groups on Facebook, and even on small scale, reprinting of old comic books. These small communities are alive now, and some of 90s kids in these communities have restarted collecting comics, and since a lot of them have kids now, they are even exposing their kids to is comics. As far as Indian comics at present, early 2010s was the last time they had depth. They don't have depth anymore and it's probably because their creators don't have depth. Old creators have either been silenced or they have willingly given up creating identifying the current political situation of this country. Superficiality is being actively promoted in the country, and reading is being centrally discouraged. You can see the state of Bollywood, and guess what's going on. It took me a bit of time to understand the bollywood of present, but I realised that increased realism in Bollywood at present, a trend that started in early 2010 is not a product of acute societal observation, which artists do but of technological voyeurism. These motherfuckers are stealing your life from you and reselling it to you, and that's why South movies are becoming popular in North because they are keeping emotions and actual storytelling alive. There is not one good director in present bollywood. I have my favourites as far as Bollywood goes but they all were in past, like Manmohan Desai, Hrishikesh Mukherjee, David Dhawan and Priyadarshan. I don't like so much the auteurs like Satyajit Ray, but I would recommend a short film of him called Two. It is available on YouTube. The directors I listed no matter the kind of persons they maybe in real life, in their art, treated human relationships and condition with dignity even if in comedy. The motherfuckers who are making content for Bollywood and OTTs at present, are not artists. Artists have a human element in them. I used to like Raju Hirani, but I realise that a person like him would know the present situation of the country and yet he chooses to make the movies he makes just makes him a sanctimonious asshole. I love Imtiaz Ali, but then I realise that this motherfucker also created the Netflix series She, kind of ruins it to realise your favourite director sold his soul. I would prefer gritty realism and absolute truth of Anurag Kashyap anyday over sanctimonious bullshit. You know when bollywood was good last? When they used to make us escape, though escape does not mean lying through the teeth. Last time it was when you heard the song Bahara. Only promising directors at present are Raj and DK not because they are good directors as talent is a dozen a dime, but because their intent is right. If you want to watch a show watch Bhabi Ji Ghar Pe Hain, and see how that show manages to maintain innocence and dignity despite being full of dirty jokes. 

Green Chutney On The Dashboard

I was a pen friendship kind of a guy. I grew up in those times, when people wrote to each other detailing about their lives and culture. When people used to roleplay their favourite characters in Yahoo Messenger chatrooms. How hard is it to go to a middle class pub and discuss philosophy, literature and pop culture over a beer. From what I have seen, it's very difficult. What is possible though is roaming around in cars doing booze and drugs as the staple for fun for guys in Delhi NCR is. Or going to pubs for alcohol and sex. Simple life where people could sit quietly and discuss their interests doesn't exist anymore. And that tells you a lot about the state of freedom in this country. My trouble began when I tried to find people of my kind in fact a lot of suffering in my life could be attributed to me trying to find my kind of people. They exist but they exist quietly and within themselves, as I do now. Freedom matters zilch when it is only available to those who deliver it as rations to others while misusing it themsleves. I see countries like US, and I see class, I see a kind of dark humour that is not pathetic. That is one thing that is missing in those who control this country, class. Incompetence and entitlement go hand in hand here. Though it doesn't matter in the long run, as all of us are slaves. People are being force fed false narratives day and night from every avenue and people are making delusional opinions based on them. It's funny to see media lying all the time. I miss the times when Doordarshan and AIR delivered standard national narrative and there was just one narrative even if it was propaganda, and it was delivered with class. Deluding people by any means possible, is kind of the new motto of this country since the advent of the internet when internet could be used to seek factual knowledge and truth. Most people like me are busy in survival so they can't really give less of a fuck about what has been going on, but it is going on and shit is going to get worse than it already is, which is kind of funny as it really can't. Always remember, two of the worst scum as far as occupations go, are journalists and lawyers all journalists except ground reporters are scum and all lawyers higher than the district level are scum. As far as politicians go, you already know the truth. 

Within Good and Evil

What is going to be my focus in writing? Of course stories that matter, but along with them a huge focus is going to be on developing aesthetics in general and related to the cultures that I have been exposed to. It's a big task especially given my cognitive ability and mental capabilities are not as good as I would like them to be, but someone has to do this job, only if in the corner when active efforts are being made to erode dignity and aesthetics from the lives of people are being made, especially the lower classes. It bleeds my heart to see young village school girls and boys asking may I come in sir, when they come to get treated by me, having the same ideas of India I once had when I was studying in school. They believe in rule of law, in institutions, in the system and it is heartbreaking that these lovely boys and girls will be betrayed and broken by the corrupt system that pervades and encompasses our lives. What prevented and kept me from breaking was the stories I read as a child. In Pran's comics, like Chacha Chaudhary, good and bad were clearly defined and then came the time of Bollywood's obsession with grey and I got deluded into thinking that grey exists. It may exist at a superficial level, but at a deeper level only black and white exist, only good and evil. There are either people who would prevent you from coming in harms way, or people who would have no qualms in destroying you for petty gains, there is no grey here. Only grey that can exist is the judgement errors of good people who do you harm because they can't judge you right. Evil is evil, and if you are mature, you'd realise that it is actually evil that rules the world, it is because it freely uses deception and brute force to gain power. Though this doesn't negate the fact that good people exist, and so evil has to promote the illusion that power is actually in hands of good people to retain power. I want to develop aesthetics because they can be a source for beauty and relief for people in a world that we are living in today. I like dark humour, but I realised that majority of dark humour at least in this country is not the kind which soldiers poke at each other because of the harsh conditions they live in or depressed people do to cope, it's just ridicule of ones in power at the suffering and the helpless. Heroes exist, villains exist, and so called antiheroes exist, but antiheroes are only grey because they have adapted to an evil world, deep inside they are heroes navigating the world as what it actually is. Stripping of delusions at once is not healthy for the mind, but basics remain same, the world is profoundly evil and it's a bunch of assholes murdering people for retaining power. If you are lucky you can have your island of peace in it, but only if you are lucky. Thing to know is that good people actually do exist and since assholes have an eye for identifying them to exploit them, you too should have an eye for them to find community. The problem with those in actual power in India is that they are not only absolutely evil but also massively stupid, and their entitlement is way more than their actual capabilities and here I'm not talking about their ability to commit evil, that is one thing that knows no bounds. Aesthetics and cultural aesthetics is the way, folk tales is the way, to elevate the actual folk culture that actually existed before the mongrel culture for discrimination was developed. People are more than being judged by when their family could afford an appliance or vehicle, and I'll make sure I do my part if I'm alive. 

Vishwaguru

Conspiracies are conspiracies. Though the level they are hatched matters. If they are hatched at a level so high and deep where most people think only God resides, it is a problem. Some people are born in the soup and there is nothing that they can do about it. Fate in India is pre-destined as well as real-time and since a couple of decades, opportunism and hypocrisy are being promoted as a way of life. I would suppose it is a way of life for a lot of people now, except of course the people who truly believe in God and keep suffering thinking God is testing them. The realisation of the reality, the actual reality has been baffling, they are doing anything they want with the lives of people, anything at all. How did things deteriorate to this? The snowpiercer analogy comes in handy when you try to understand this setup. It's a train, with compartments, first class, second class, third class and fourth class, and existence is exactly the same. Another analogy is of a glass ceiling with which the ones above the glass ceiling pass spears through holes in it and keep impaling people in the lower levels. This impaling can be discriminate or indiscriminate. Lower the level more indiscriminate is the impaling. Combine these two analogies and you get an accurate picture of Indian sociological setting. It's majorly a socioeconomic and sociopolitical setup, and that's why culture is decaying because it is controlled with technology, and culture is practically useless though the remnants of culture are made use of for discrimination. It was funny to me to see the incompetence of intelligence agencies in things like the scamming going on in the country, but thankfully I realised that this country is not governed like that. There is democracy, and of a kind where you have literally no choice but the lack of choices is at level way deeper and at a level that violates your personal agency over yourself. Just a decade ago I used to believe in privacy. Until I realised that the data that should actually be private, that is one's thoughts has never been private. One can manage with digital data, but what about thoughts? As a physician I wanted to work for people with mental health issues, and in solving the enigma of mental health for myself and others, I discovered that they are not mental health issues at all. They are neurological slavery and torture. The unfortunate thing about it is that it is totally political and exploitative in nature. Remember the analogies of train and glass ceiling? So I realised that I wasn't suffering with depression and fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome at all during my college time, it was neurological torture delivered directly from my supposed hometown. One can realise that if your own hometown is not yours, what else could be? I'll tell you. Your family. Only your family is something that is authentically yours. I belong from the region of Purvanchal, and the most pathetically hilarious thing is that Kashi, the place that is supposed to be the spiritual capital of the country, is in Purvanchal. These motherfuckers were supposed to build spiritual systems and they chose to build mental designs of exploitation and psychological torture. Most of the religious gurus are in on it. It's not only the problem of India though, in United States too cases which are reported as gangstalking and remote neural monitoring have increased. These cases would have earlier been diagnosed by psychiatrists as schizophrenia, but internet with all its faults has done one good thing, it has made people aware and aware people know that the voices in the head specially when they have materialistic consequences are not really schizophrenia. Though these people will be branded, and are branded crazy. The pathetic thing about India is that technology of control is on par with the US, but as you know the services and infrastructure and basic quality of life isn't. What the lovely Indians have done is that they have internalised all oppressive systems that used to exist outside, at the level of mind and nerves. Preventing people from studying and gaining knowledge, done, preventing people from visiting temples, done, preventing people from social mobility, done, employment of village rapists for surveillance, done, casteism, done, sexism, done, misogyny, done, breaking families and relationships by sowing differences and mistrust, done. Of course these things are case specific like Indira Gandhi became prime minister despite being a woman because she was the daughter of Jawaharlal Nehru, so there are Indira Gandhis who face no inertia or opposition at all and are seen as trailblazers, while the establishment, which is practically a criminal syndicate, employed lower class village rapists torture, rape, exploit and extort people in the lower classes and more low the class more indiscriminate is the rape, torture and exploitation. Immoral ways of wealth accumulation are promoted because it also acts as dirt on people and the rug can be pulled anytime from under their legs. For the rest, like me, it would be depression and fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. I haven't even been able to get across the full scope of neurological diseases that are perpetuated by this system, I suppose dyslexia would be one of them too, along with many others. So you can realise that suicide in most cases might be murder. The way families are prevented from growing one can try to guess that it is a family based system after all, and the oligarchy might comprise of a hierarchy of families starting from your locality to national level and even international level. Good thing is that your real self that is independent of this politics exists, though you have to work hard to differentiate between the control and your real authentic self. If you manage to do it, you will be able to see this shitshow clearly. It's control, money, and sex basically and resources, including land. As far as neurological control of brain and permanent connection of your brain to a greater network goes, it will soon be normalised by technologies like Neuralink and Starlink and it would be normalised as new technology. Though the Russian mazes I used to see during my childhood dreams would still warrant an explanation. Of course it's crazy talk. Schizophrenia, remember? I have no intentions of ending up as a physician version of Aaron Swartz, but then the least I can do for posterity is write and record my observations especially when I realise that the most cowardly form of hate crimes are perpetrated against people at a level where people cannot even oppose them. The power is absolute and since these motherfuckers are incompetent they compensate their incompetence by being rabid and cruel towards people. The most heartbreaking thing was religion in India being a scam, especially when we have such old, deep and great philosophies which help in transcendence. 

Chalte Firte Pret Ke Liye

If there is one advice I can give you, I'll just say that simplify your life. Know the people who are worth sacrificing for, they will be less but know them. When I was in college I wanted to be a physician-writer. Chekhov was an idol for a long time. With time I realised the futility of writing in a country like India, but I decided to write nevertheless deciding to never publish commercially and only on my blogs for the people who would need my writing. Being a physician-writer also meant, for me, writing for comic books, I have wanted to write comic books ever since I became an adult but it's not a viable career option in India for majority, also indigenous comic books have been obliterated from the scene. Most comic book writers in this country are now doing BJP vs Congress on Facebook and on podcasts, and some of them have went on to write for Marvel and DC, but that's not exactly indigenous creativity. The stifling of creativity and expression is not overt but insidious. I persist though. Stories matter, and even though I don't like listening and telling them so much, I do absolutely love reading and writing them. I have grown up on stories and even though they are redundant now, they will always matter to me. The best part about the life I am living at present is that I know the source and reason for the terrible suffering that I have went through in my life. Of course it is political in nature, and absolutely unprovoked, but then that's how it is for the majority of people in this country and it feels good to be in majority. I have a bunch of novels that I want to write, just as personal projects and not commercially though I lack the cognitive and mental resources at present, I know that I'm prepared for it. It is to be noted that no book can change the world, it can only provide people the strength to suffer with dignity, if you consider a world with people with dignified suffering a changed world, well then it is a changed world. I like the people I like, and if something about comic book writers such as Frank Miller and Alan Moore feels right to me, I decide to trust my instincts. I have lived the 90s and back then in this country, good people used to write comics and stories for children. Absolute gem of human beings who wanted kids to grow up into good and moral citizens. Kids don't need to read good books and comics to grow up into good human beings anymore, in fact they don't need to even be good humans anymore. Their fates are already decided based on the whims of those who oversee people in the modern times. When people are just eugenic experimentations who can be breeded into top or bottom of the social hierarchies and food chains, what difference do the morals in the books and comic books would make. Escaping into world of stories is a privilege now, you can do it only if you are allowed to do so. I liked to live in my own world of stories, but then I was forced to confront my own reality, which was totally needless as I lived with my reality, but unfortunately in this country your reality is what a bunch of incompetent, depraved and entitled assholes think it to be. I'll keep writing though, because it works as a snapshot of the times we live in, and while people may think I'm delusional I have made sure that when the time for them to confront the reality comes, what I write acts as a lifeboat for them. Existence for me has reduced to just a few basic questions, and this is what I meant when I said about simplifying life. These questions may or may not be answered, but it doesn't matter because I know enough to not need these basic questions answered.

Seventy Year Old Empire

I do not like uncertainty in my life, and so I worked for knowing the truth beyond my suffering. Only uncertainty I can tolerate is the actual uncertainty of life, which has been engulfed by politics and now the uncertainty of life is about at least eighty percent political in nature. I have had enough time to retrospect, though not with my full mental ability but I have been able to retrospect enough to make sense of things. India has disappointed me, and so has my home region and truth be told anyone who comes to know the actual truth of the country and its regions is bound to get heavily disappointed. I have dealt with uncertainty of my life and all the uncertainty that remains in my life anymore is the actual twenty percent authentic uncertainty of life. It's a big deal to identify and do away with the political aspect of the uncertainty of life. Oppression is the norm here and you can get oppressed for trifles. The actual political setup is to exploit for any or every weakness, be it illnesses, handicaps, inferiority complexes, insecurity or anything else. This is how the setup actually works. There is no authenticity in the life that is being lived by people in this country, and since people are being watched at an individual level, it is safe to say that the entity that can afford to employ such a huge, for the lack of a better (or worse) word, workforce, has established it's permanence, so you know that the real, the actual government of this country and probably the world, is permanent. It is a simple setup of exploitation of who can be exploited and falsely accusing, victim blaming and blame shifting have been normalised so much that they are used as normal methods. Of course when these things are normal, and at a level where a common man thinks God resides, existence of God is out of question. The rewards are material in nature, which was funny to me to realise as the actual truth of this country as a person for whom materialism only exists as a way of basic survival and who prefers to live by ideals and codes. The most baffling thing was the realisation that people don't really own their own bodies and minds and it's funny that majority of people would die without having this realisation ruthlessly being manipulated by undeserving and incompetent rapists and criminals who have been employed for crowd control in this country. The most devastating thing was how culture has been weaponised as a tool for exploitation and discrimination and is treated only as a programming that can be used to exploit and discriminate. What are the incentives for the individuals employed in the lower rung of this structure? They are freedom to freely rape and exploit and torture people and it's kind of funny when you contrast with people having grand ideas of their fates and kundalis and such. What is behind all this? Money and technology, resources. The setup is so basic that it's kind of hilarious. I wonder if is it only me or others are feeling it too, in this country and the world. I have had the full experience, and unfortunately without doing anything that warrants it, but that can be taken care of by falsely accusing and framing. The most mind-blowing thing in all of this for me was the incompetence, that too after having access to all the knowledge and resources in the world and literal access to people's minds, bodies and lives. Did I get fucked because I read Carl Sagan and Freud to find out about the universe and reasons for my suffering. People are still prevented from entering temples, just at a level way higher and deeper. Thankfully God doesn't reside in Indian temples anymore, any divinity that remains in Indian temples is due to the faith emanating from the people who visit them. What an absolutely shocking way to learn the truth of this country and it being an orgy of sadism, rape and exploitation. There are actual truths behind this, like do the masters have masters above them and also why the threshold of awareness, knowledge and suffering is so low. These individuals can't differentiate between genuine respect and fear based respect, and in a way that's all you need to know about individuals who rule over us at present. 

Accepting The Cookie

The best part about having gone through the worst case scenario is that you fear nothing anymore. When I had watched The Matrix, I kind of understood Cypher's rationale, blue pill is good, and I agree with conformity, whole my life I have done so, but this is only until you get to know the truth and how bad the actual situation is. I really don't know how to make people picture this, but it's the worst kind of hellish dystopia that can possibly be, and in general, but people are kept in capsules of feel good delusion, well at least the ones who are lucky and the rest get the taste of the real. I'm not the kind that breaks people's delusions, especially if they are comforting, but then I guess I got to write what I saw and it was so terrible that it is unbelievable, good thing is that reading about it is going to hurt no one as it is a brain in a vat kind of setup, people are safe in their capsules. There was once a boy in the mid 90s who used to go to a bookstore holding the hands of his grandfather. Upon reaching there he always used to get excited smelling the scent of newly printed books and magazines, he used to carefully select children's magazines and comic books, and one of the magazines he selected was Vigyan Pragati. It was a magazine which had one science fiction story, in Hindi, in every issue. Stories ranged from space travel to robots in homes. You won't find science fiction in Hindi anymore. In fact you won't even find good literature in Hindi anymore. I was just too busy with myself from 2004 to 2016, trying to study and building a life, and when I came to my senses, the world had changed and it made me wonder was the world already like this or it has really changed. It is both. Now people can be put into individualised prisons that are customised for them which for some reason or for no reason at all can be turned into torture chambers. The privileged remain drunk on pleasurable sensations, and the unprivileged remain senseless with pain and suffering, both incapable of finding out what is going on while the wheel of time keeps moving. It is in fact The Matrix, just in a very real sense, and it's not the machines who have made this illusion, it's humans. Is the world maya, or an illusion? Well it can be. It may even be a simulation for all I know. But within this simulation or not simulation, is a sociopolitical and socioeconomic simulation which is as real as anything can be, and it thrives on pain, suffering, rape and exploitation. The ones who oversee the greater game were short sighted, and instead of employing individuals who are good at the job in the most efficient and aesthetic manner, they chose and even groomed individuals who actually enjoy people suffering, enjoy their pain and deprivation, enjoy raping them. The end result is same, but in the second case the world gets a bit worse with every person getting deprived, tortured, raped and exploited. Though it doesn't really matter to those who control the game as people for them are just like poultry in a poultry farm. They are good until they give eggs, and eggs can be anything, and ones eggs stop coming it's time for the butchering and culling. I didn't get the option to take the blue pill, but that doesn't mean that would have not selected the red pill if I got a glimpse of the truth. The thing to know is that struggle is futile. It's better to take the blue pill and it's better to keep taking it. I write for people who want to know the reason for their suffering. It's like people going to the doctor to find what is wrong with them. Once they find out, pain remains the same, but they suffer way less. We are slaves, or worse, we are livestock, but that actually doesn't negate our experiences in life, at least for us. God is a smokescreen but he does provide relief and even peace and bliss if you manage to find him inside you. 

Crushers

A world of guys on cafe racers riding on highways. A world of motocross riders going off road following the trail. A world of a bunch of guys playing Tribes 2 and Quake 3 arena on LAN. Did that world even exist? It could have, along with the love in villages. Love in the villages could've been saved. It needed careful work. Doesn't matter though, it's all gone now. It's all fucked. A guy measuring the body of his girl with his fingers in a hot Lucknow afternoon in his room with the desert cooler whirring and splashing khas scented water droplets on them while a guy in a small village in Rajasthan edits his Hindi literary magazine sitting in the courtyard of the village temple, his bike parked outside the temple. Everything, every beautiful thing has been deleted from existence. What remains is entry fees, to privilege clubs. The hands which held pens have been broken and crushed, just like the British crushed the hands of the weavers to prevent them from weaving. The guy measuring the body of his girlfriend with his fingers has been beaten black and blue and an FIR has been registered against him and all the love he had has evaporated. What remains now? Just some guys riding superbikes and choppers on highways who extract their petrol by squeezing the necks of the helpless. Quake 3 Arena and Tribes 2 are dead. LAN doesn't matter. It's the time of RPGs where the blood spilled is real. The fragrance of itr still lingers in the nostrils of the guy from Lucknow, he misses her. Cafe racer guys have thrown away their helmets and hanged their gloves. Cafe racers don't run on blood. Motocross guys are doing tricks hoping one of the tricks would lift them from this planet forever. 

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep

Humanity's rotten corpse does bloom wildflowers sometimes. How simple could be things. They are very simple, but because they are mathematical. It's mathematics that governs love, though the best thing about love is that it can't really be governed, oppressed, yes, but governed no. And this is the reason it induces hatred in those who are filled with hate and those who want to turn the world into their image. Heaven and hell exist on earth, and since they do, the possibility of heaven or hell in the afterlife becomes feeble. What do I imagine heaven to be in afterlife? My heaven is the void of womb of divine mother, alone, forever, for all eternity. The oppressors have become weak, and it works like a thermometer, when the cruelty and ridicule starts to increase in the world, you must realise that the oppressors are becoming weak. Though the basic element behind oppression is weakness. Strong do not oppress, they judge, correctly, and they forgive those who need to be forgiven and the punish the crimes according to their gravity. We don't live in such a world anymore and it from the looks of it, it seems that we haven't done that ever, but then you look at people and you realise that they exist, the correct judges, the keepers of peace. Peace is not an option anymore, so not is love. People are androids, and the oppressors are raping even them, in fact this has been going on since quite a while. What saves, is delusion, that God exists, it's not a delusion though, he exists, inside you, and you'd have to find him. Once you find him, you'll find peace and you'd realise that it's not him who made the world. What made the world is not the God we want to believe in, this entity doesn't give a fuck about how much pain you go through. It's like you creating a videogame just to torture in-game characters. You know the God people want to believe in, the one that resides within you, he created music. So that you know he exists. The bacteria that feed on your wounds, know only one thing, survival, and so do you white blood cells so do those who rule over people, who preach that they have been ordained by God. If they were, they would have found God within themselves, and they wouldn't have stopped people from introspecting and finding God within them. The places where God used to reside have been defiled. It's never be going to be like The Jetsons, even if we get flying cars and that's okay, you do not need flying cars for peace, for peace you just need to find yourself. It's difficult, being the sentient organic android you are walking around satiating the inferiority of demons who deceive others in the name of God. Remember, at the end of the day, it's just a game, and love will hurt like hell, but it's worth it for people you love, for others, remember that we live in a setting where hell is other people. 

Open House

Hearts break, because they are supposed to break. You love someone and they break your heart. That's the setting. The era of love has ended. Love can exist without freedom, but it can't bloom. You wanted her soul to engulf yours. That requires transcendence and not every one can afford to transcend. You see the slavery, but that doesn't stop you from creating worlds. You create worlds, that's what you do. In slavery, in oppression, in torture, you create worlds. Life has been unbelievable and it's been hell. You realise that it's only the innocents who go to hell. God has been dead for quite sometime now. You have attended his funeral. You are determined to create worlds in your free time, worlds that would give weary, tortured people shelter, worlds that would soothe them, worlds that would heal them. You have worlds in your mind, different worlds and you'd connect them with portals, so that people can travel between worlds. You pull out your heart and bury it, it has been broken so many times that it's of no use. And you put your soul into making worlds, for the wounded, for the deprived, for the forsaken. You have walked hell, and it was a cakewalk. A real fucking hell was a cake walk, they don't make hells like they used to. There would be no entry fee in these worlds you create and people can shrink them and distribute it to the ones who need escape from their hells. The broken hearted and the broken will have planets to explore, new worlds and they can go planet hopping. Your cigarettes increase your blood pressure and weaken your heart, but you have time, enough time to demolish the fake hells and to piss on them and to get the good ones, the ticket to a ride between the worlds created by you. 

Hand in Glove

I think this would be one of my last political posts because this is not what I really want to write and I want to write better things but given the state of this country and the world I think it's better to document the truth and the snapshot of our current existence from time to time. I intend this post to be one of the last in what you can term my political enlightenment series and so it is going be a bit longer than my regular post and I hope after writing this I can focus on the things I really want to write about. I know exactly when the political environment of this country changed. In 2010, there was a movie called Kartik Calling Kartik that released which dealt with schizophrenia. Things were progressive back then and up until early 2010s. There was a lot of comic book companies coming into existence, rock bands were still there, and everything was good, and suddenly around the same time, that is, the early 2010s the narrative started to change. The shift in narrative coincided with the BJP government coming into power in center in 2014, so a lot of people attribute it to the change in government, though my experiences tell otherwise. This country is actually run by an oligarchy and the government is just a pawn, and it changes when it has to change. The chest thumping Hindu nationalists are not aware that this change in government doesn't really matter and it would only deface and defile Hinduism. There is a lot of hullabaloo about the rise of Hindutva, and if you see the basic tenets of Hindutva it is not a bad philosophy at all, it is just an assertion of Hindu identity in an otherwise docile religion like Hinduism, especially given the fact that we lost a huge chunk of land in 1947, and that Hinduism is a pretty inclusive and tolerant religion even to the religions and philosophies that are exclusivist and fundamental. It's not the ideology, it's the intent and the people controlling the ideology. The intent is to hold absolute power no matter how much harm people suffer and so weaponisation of ideologies, cultures and philosophies is being done. The goal, power, money and resources. It was baffling for a person like me who was an idealist to realise that truth can be this simple, but it is. Indian deep state is the most demonic deep state in the whole world, because it gives the illusion of democracy and freedom while practicing absolute totalitarianism. The totalitarianism is not new, it has been there since I was a kid, but back then the culture was different, there used to be depth in things and West's cock was not so deep into the assholes of everyone except the big daddies and the government was still more friendly to Russia than the West. Of course corporate setup controls our lives more than the government does, it's the companies that are breaking families to sell more soaps. Only way to remain human in this kind of setup is to remain delusional. It's all the West's and to be more accurate, the American playbook, they are breaking joint families, and I used to think that joint families are breaking due to progress and people wanting independence, it is not so, though America at least allows individual freedom and expression. The main goal is to keep the only authentic unit and institution, that is a family, which used to be bigger earlier, small. They are disarming people in all respects and keeping them weak and isolated. Divide and rule, remember? Who would have thought this in post-independence India. In early 2010s, strict stratification of the society took place and you can see the kids of the rich living the EDM life on a regular basis while the poor are not only being deprived but exclusively tortured by village rapists and criminals employed for crowd control, and it's torture for torture's sake, there is no logic behind this. Nothing is real and authentic in this country, media is rigged and fake, people in positions of power are not there due to merit but carefully selected. What is real is rape, exploitation and deprivation. Plus you can see the state of public governance and things as basic as cleanliness and manners, it was a revelation to me that it is intentional and part of the Indian aesthetic. IAS are looked up to but a large chunk of them are not part of the establishment that actually runs this country, otherwise they wouldn't be caught with huge chunks of cash. The individuals who rule over us are basically criminals and unfortunately the government may be the working arm of this criminal establishment while feigning public welfare. It's a stratified setup and now it's being sealed so that people who don't sell their souls don't move up in the strata. I'm not a very political person and totalitarianism is fine with me, the last straw for me, and that's when I decided to write was lack of personal agency, even your thoughts and feelings are not your own and you have to work hard to differentiate between your actual thoughts and feelings and what is being fed to you. You don't even own your own fucking bodies and minds, what else do you expect to own? I know a lot of it would sound like conspiracy theory but it's because it's designed to be like that, we are living in the times of curated mental spaces, and the setting is such that speaking truth means sounding crazy and discrediting oneself. Anyway my goal is to just document the truth so that people read it and make sense of it when the time for them to make sense of things arrives. This is as accurate a record of the political state of this country as it can possibly be, and I think my job of giving back to the society is done here. 

Gandi Baat

When I was younger I used to think that sexuality of people will be normalised in future, but as I matured I realised that that's never going to happen, as sex is one of the main entities with which society is controlled. Sex is going to remain a taboo for the majority today and in future. A lot of politics depends on blackmailing people with their sexual history, and as I matured I found out that the actual position of women, and at the deepest level of this existence in this country is that of sex objects and that's never going to end. Sex in India is not a matter of consent, but it depends on how much power or if not power, how much opportunism one has. Personally for me sex is of course a reproductive function, but other than that it's an expression of love. For the privileged it is also a source from where they derive pleasure and entertainment. I'm an old school romantic and even though I have realised that romance doesn't really exist in the world other than a form of delusion I stick to being one. You know what happens to good boys? They invest in a relationship, they care, they make efforts and wait for the girl's consent, and then a guy with more social currency or if not, just plain and simple opportunism comes and fucks her. In college going kids terms this is referred to as KLPD. For lower middle class guys, only access to sex is getting arranged married if they are not opportunistic assholes, and you look deep into the abyss of Indian society and you'd see oldies who should be deep in philosophy and spirituality deep into sex. It's a depraved country. Where sex is taboo and yet every one is doing it and I'm not talking about married couples and yet young boys and girls are constantly bombarded with it, and still deprived of it. The society is filled with rapists and lecherous assholes and yet when a boy and girl get into a relationship it is a big deal. The basic design is simple, all the women for me and leftovers for rest and by me I mean the powerful, who knew truth is going to be so simple and wildlife compliant, and when you come to know more about this country and its actual truth you'd realise that it's a literal harem. Future holds the truth and the truth is going to be clear for all, I'm just here waiting for it to unfold. I couldn't find the woman of my kind but only because she doesn't really exist though I can call someone a soulmate and keep it strictly platonic, and of course I got married to a very good woman who fulfills the requirements of my family, I can't ask for more. I like sensuality and its non vulgar expression, so I read and write sensuous poetry and for fun I like to read graphic novels like Druuna. People are literally being deprived of intimacy in this country and being turned into beasts. I have grown up in times when women's bodies were not sexualised, I have seen an India where women didn't need to wear blouses and no one sexualised them or at least I didn't. The downfall of this country as far as sexuality is considered is tremendous, and no one's talking about it. And since I know the truth of this country now, I know that all of this rape and vulgarity as well as deprivation and pressure cooker situation with respect to sex and all the infidelity is centrally propagated by the very entity that controls our lives. You see the game for long and you realise that sexual repression and release is a method of control but that's okay, the real problem arises when people are deprived of emotional intimacy. The deprivation of emotional intimacy is real and it is making people do strange things as you can see in the news and on social media. To the old fashioned, I just want to tell you, love and romance exist and they are real, but they are not feasible anymore, not now not ever, it is only going to be feasible to the privileged in controlled environments. 

Blair Witch Project

Just a decade ago there used to be a lot of chatter about finding oneself. It all died down. My life, personally, got extremely simplified, and the credit goes to me because I despite getting trapped into a complex psychosocial maze, that rearranges itself, chose to simplify my life making the maze ineffective. What I learnt in the process is that the control of minds and bodies of people in this country is in hands of entitled, irresponsible, incompetent, spoilt, depraved and sadistic assholes and it becomes truly heartbreaking when one contrasts it with how seriously people take their lives, relationships, religion, God and societal and rules and regulations. My enlightenment was two-fold, one was spiritual enlightenment which came about due to my efforts and studies and another was political enlightenment which was consequence of my spiritual enlightenment and which enlightened me about the real politics that actually controls the lives of people in this country and the world. It is what it is, and it has been like this since long before people of my age were born and I suppose even long before that too. The assumption that "life is suffering" which I came across after reading on Buddhism, however, is wrong. Life is only suffering for some people, for others they pass on their suffering and then there are others who do not suffer at all and who are responsible for orchestrating this suffering. The cure for your suffering is to stop suffering, I know that it sounds stupid but it's doable. Let your mind and body suffer but you have to stop suffering and by you I mean your self, your truest self. Before that you'd need to find your true self, which for a lot of people is buried within the rubble of psychosocial designs they have gone through and suffered throughout their lives. This is what was meant when the chatter about "finding yourself" was still alive a decade ago. This slavery people are under and the way the walls are closing in day by day, is a global phenomenon. In India it's worse because they are destroying any trace of remaining aesthetics and finer sensibilities and culture from lower stratas to deprive people from living with dignity with their culture and so that their culture can be ridiculed while oppressing, disarming people from a dignified resistance. You would have noticed that a lot of good music has mostly disappeared not only from India but from the world. This is because true artists have realised the slavery and those who still make music are either trapped and do it for survival or are groomed stooges. Suffering in life is acceptable to me, but I was baffled at how low the narrative was and the kind of individuals who had access and control of people. The kind of individuals who have access to people's minds and bodies in this country are the kind you won't allow even a hundred kilometres near your family, that's how sad the state of affairs are in this country. It is all strictly politico-economic and the main commodities are power, resources, sex and money. People who value truth and love fade when contrasted with the immense and irreversible omnipresent power and the absolute control the structure that rules over us has over people. The worst part however is not the criminality and corruption of this setup which unfortunately is also the providence, but entitled and senseless and totally needless, baseless and whimsical violence and incompetence. 

Garbage Disposal

The understanding develops gradually as the mind processes the data being fed to it. Being fed useless garbage is not okay, but the silver lining is that even that useless garbage can be analysed and recycled to derive insights good enough to be generalised when applicable. You get a chance to review your life from the eyes of incompetent and criminal, and while the facts remain the same the essence of your life when seen through the eyes of incompetent criminals and their corrupt and demonic minds changes. Kids are caught early these days, and they don't get to experience the actual reality. Fortunately some people get to experience the actual reality until they don't, and that time period when they experienced the actual reality and actual joy can work as an anchor for the difficulties that are going to come later in life. The kids who have been unlucky enough to have bad and traumatic childhoods do not have their anchors and that makes them easy to manipulate and an easy to control pawn in a greater social game. The truth of the reality, in India, and I do not know about other countries, is cheap. I got to see whole of my life from the perspectives of egomaniacal, narcissistic and psychopathic rapist criminals and it made me realised that transgressions are not normalised in the upper strata of the society because the stress and responsibilities are more, in fact they are less, they are normalised because they never learnt to control their impulses and are habituated to doing anything to anyone and think they are entitled to it. I didn't think that truth would be this simple, but well, the more you know. The common people are worse than animals and this opinion is shared by lowest of the low scum of this structure. The realisation that they are going for absolute totalitarianism and deprivation was baffling, it was unbelievable for a long time until the reality gradually started to set in. The game has been like this for long, it's just that there is a new domain added to it since the past decade and that is the internet. The internet allows people to express the parts and sides of their personalities which they can't in real life, and they can choose or not choose to align with those parts. The logic behind is simple, that the internet for the unaware gives them a chance to express themsleves without the fear of social and physical harm and thus they express themsleves freely and so one realises that there is constant social intimidation that people live in though they do not realise that this intimidation is at a level way deeper than they actually think it to be. People live under local criminal tyrants who have access to their whole lives, how sad is that? They feed on fear of people and it makes them feel powerful. The oppression, exploitation and rape is at a level where it can't be fought back and it's sad that criminals and rapists reside at a level where God should. Though it's true for America too, so one realises that it is not as developed a nation as people think it is, it's just that their narrative is not as cheap as it is in this country and they are not incompetent and illiterate. Life becomes really interesting when actual subhumans think of people having way more worth than them as subhumans. 

DTH

Giving words to feelings and abstract concepts is not easy and gone are the days of metaphors. I am getting repetitive in my writing but the things I repeat ought to be repeated, even more often than I actually do. Nothing comes before freedom, but ironically it is the very thing we lack. As far as my experience with free will goes, one doesn't really have it. This lack of free will is political in nature, as far as free will at a cosmic level goes, I have no idea, but to experiment with that one has to first bypass the lack of free will at a political level, and this is not the politics that we see on TV and read about in newspapers, it is way deeper than that, so deep that our very existence becomes political. Absolute lack of freedom means a shift towards nihilism, and existentialism stops to matter to people. Majority of -isms are scams anyway. Life shouldn't be a war, or a daily struggle, but unfortunately it is. If you're not prepared you will get hunted, and this is by design. I'm glad that I prepared for what was about to come, and I survived, but then the reality I got exposed to is enough to make someone a nihilist. I repeat the same thing because repetition is necessary and also because in the meanwhile I am searching for things actually worth writing about. I'm not the one for useless rebellion, though I'm for justice, but you would realise that all the rebellion and social justice is scam. This drama will go on indefinitely until people realise that are enslaved upto their bones and colonialism and slavery only ended because a method for deeper and inescapable slavery was developed. People have to realise that food, clothing and shelter and financial and social security is all that is important and everything other than this is useless, except knowledge. Knowledge must be accumulated and cultivated to make sense of the things happening in the world, to understand the drama that is going around and to understand that it is all fake with real consequences for innocent people who just want to live their lives peacefully.

Journey Distinction

The journey is important, even if you already know everything you'd learn from the journey, because it confirms what you already know and gives you surety that you were right. Once you get past the basics, life becomes easy. Life is hard by design but it becomes easy once you realise what matters and what doesn't. I have undertaken the journey and I got to review my life, and that makes me free to choose the kind of life I want to have, though I would prefer to choose the kind of life that is true to my roots and ideals. It's not necessary but the reality is that you suffer your roots, and so you must have a component of it with you always. The bottom line is slavery and what is important to you doesn't matter to the machine that consumes people, it tortures and ruins people indiscriminately because people below a particular strata doesn't matter to it, they are just animals to be slaughtered. Though it would feign acquaintance with you and your life but that's just to exploit you by making you think what you know about yourself is wrong. It becomes a complex situation if you aren't in touch with your real self, and getting in touch with your real self is difficult in today's times, it takes effort, and trial and error but once you get in touch with it life becomes simple and you can access your truth and discard the lies fed to you about you. 

Khamma Ghani

I know what absolute freedom looks like, and it's great because pain would have been there even if I wasn't free. Pain was written in my destiny, though it was kind of disappointing to know the reason why, I didn't except the reason to be as cheap as it turned out to be, but it's like that and there is nothing that can be done about, actually couldn't have been done about it ever. I'm just glad to know for sure that God doesn't exist, though that doesn't make me a disbeliever, in fact I have finally realised the God that resides within me and all organisms. There is not much that can be done when threshold of existence itself is low, which in this country definitely is. People are kept deluded, with constant pumping of delusion about the general existence, right and wrong, about the politics and your relationships, but realise that if you mind and specially body are in pain, not mechanical, but pain in general, it's torture. The political torture in this country is not due to political reasons, that threshold has long been crossed due to absolute control over human minds and bodies it's either just out of hatred or for sadistic pleasure. It's not required at all, but then one realises that it's all majorly about things that are not required. The curtain of a world that is progressing into a better future doesn't take time to be lifted and you get to see the naked reality, that everything is a drama. I suffered and I have no problem in suffering, until I realised the kind of individuals involved in this. This country turned out to be a real shithole, but then looking with this lens probably every country in the world is, though I assure you that none of those countries are as demonic and morally bankrupt as India is. People would realise this in due time because the control is slipping from the hands of these motherfuckers. I actually used to think whites as better people or at least more developed, turns out they are the reason for it all. They are not as civilized as they pretend to be, because when you have absolute control and yet you choose to put a system which is as optimised for exploitation as it could possibly be you aren't really civilized, but the thing about whites is that they take care of their own people, for the most part. You can't say the same of the Indians, in case of these motherfuckers, and especially those who control people, they just couldn't learn class and manners despite superficially copying then from the West. They don't have substance and so these bastards hate everything that has class, manners and substance and are deleting them from culture so all that remains is the superficial shit they learnt from the West and so that they can discriminate against people based on it and people become perpetual slaves as they won't have their authentic culture to fall back on as it has been defiled. The amount of rape that goes on in lower classes can't be expressed in words all while depriving them of intimacy and ridiculing them for wanting it. This is the standard setting of this country and it is not related to BJP vs Congress, BJP and Congress are just wings of the same bird which just change the outfit of the country, how it looks. In reality it's a rape nation where people are deprived for pleasure. My assumption is that it is because those who actually control this nation are coolies and slaves of whites and as far as this country goes, also Muslims, but it would be particularly funny if they are not. The best part, even lowest of lowest scum of this structure doesn't believe in God but tortures other people for their belief or the absence of it. 

Warfighter

It's not what something is, but it's what your perception of it is. I'm a romantic guy, and I'm interested in noir and transgressive fiction. I'm the kind of guy who could have been in "doctors without borders", or have been a Vice reporter if these things actually existed. They exist actually, but I, now when I have become mature and well versed in the actual truth of the world, have realised that there is no point in throwing your life for these silly pursuits. The way things were going while I was in college, except medicine and writing, I would have dedicated myself to a martial art or mountaineering, either of the two. I used to believe in higher purpose of existence. I trained in medicine with the sole purpose of healing people, there are numerous other ways to earn money. I wanted to go into medical research and I was studying for it. And then the truth of this country came crashing down on me. You are a slave and once you realise that life becomes particularly simple, as it has become for me. The best way to live life, and it is the ultimate way, there is no better way other than this because this is the bottom line, is to throw yourself into earning money, and into trying to keep your family together. Sounds simple isn't it? In this country, it's not. It was a relief when I realised that there is no higher purpose of existence and that one doesn't really have to give back to the society. There is no society to give back to. Everyone is a programmed automaton. It's like The Matrix, everyone you know, even your loved ones, are in the program and can turn into agents, the thing to remember is to love your loved ones even if they turn into agents. I had an option to choose either the blue pill or the red pill and I chose the red pill, just like Neo did. Reality has been stranger than fiction for me, and there is nothing that I could have done about it since the start. I can heal people now, but there are no people to heal anymore. The amount of suffering I have gone through is beyond words, but that's not the point. The actual point is that all of this suffering is inflcted, and that there is exists a mechanism, a setup, a system, to inflict this suffering and this suffering is inflicted on people by other humans. The worst part, there is no greater reason behind the suffering, you suffer in your life because of whims and baseless hatred of other humans. God was never in the picture. It's all politics and economics. It was a hard pill to swallow for a man who was an idealist, who believed in greater purpose. But it is then I realised that it is the people like me who believed in morals and honour, in codes, that these motherfuckers manipulated and sent to wars, while they exploited and tormented the good common people. The secret is out and it shouldn't have been. These are not the Kings who loved us, the benevolent gods who cared for us, went to wars for us, who lead us into wars to fight for them, besides them. These are men and women of straw, petty criminals who got the power by deceit, by betraying their own people, by begging the invaders and who compensate for their weakness with cruelty. I know that the old designers and kings were benevolent because I can see it in myself, I can feel it flowing in my blood. These criminals don't rule upon me. The actual Kings do, whether they are alive or dead, I listen to the ancient designers, I listen to my gods and the God, and I listen to the idea of this nation, this culture, this civilization. I would go to war for it, in fact I have been in war whole of my life for it. 

Motorcycle Diaries

For some people clarity about their life doesn't come easy. The odds are against them, and they have fight for the clarity about their life. The actual reality is baffling, and it's nothing but politics. Every living breathing moment of our lives is politics. I wouldn't have imagined it in my wildest dreams and yet I had to face the truth. I can kind of document my mindset in each years of my life and it has been pretty consistent. A bit aimless in the middle and focused later, and disillusioned after knowing the truth about the world. Things didn't have to be as simple as they actually are, but there is nothing that can be done about it. It's literally the worst case scenario, and I'm glad that I'm facing the worst case scenario despite the best case scenario existing because if you are living in the best case scenario you are also dealing with uncertainty and more often than not people turn irreversibly evil to turn that uncertainty into certainty. Evil is the invisible but standard setting of the world and goodness and peace are just smokescreen. Behind the smokescreen of peace there is demonic levels of exploitation, rape, deprivation and torture and even genocide is going on. I used to be angry at God for giving young kids cancer, until I realised that the ones who control the world and their lackeys literally rape, torture and murder innocent kids. I find it funny as Hitler is considered the most evil person in history and yet individuals way worse than the popular perception of Hitler in the world control lives of people in this country and, by the looks of it, the world. I have been very vocal about preservation of culture, but I gradually realised that if everyone is a slave and an organic automation what significance does the culture hold except aiding in the discrimination, oppression and exploitation. Truth had been liberating for me. I have been totally liberated. More than twenty one years of torture in which twelve years of focused and nine years of active torture, that too for a person who had never harmed anyone, and was mostly an idealist and pacifist. Shit happening to myself in particular opened my eyes towards how this country is actually governed and then things went on unfolding revealing the hidden political truth of this country and the world. I don't like uncertainty, I'm glad that I know the truth and that I have surety about the reality of this country and the world even if things do not end well for me. My expectations about future of the world got shattered and I see nothing but strengthening of the slavery that humanity lives in as time passes. There are going to no revolutions except revolution of earth around the sun, with the slavery humanity lives in strengthening with each revolution around the sun.